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The following are the top three winners of a Most
Embarrassing Moments Contest in a magazine
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While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to
grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance
from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now", she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice
just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee
last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up
the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed
behind me were screams of laughter...
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It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living
at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I
invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we
lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring
downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a
piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the
call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the
bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole
crowd of people yelled, "SURpRISE!"
My entire family, aunts, uncles, Grandparents, cousins and
all my friends were standing there. My girlfriend and I were
frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed
like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned
a surprise party again.
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One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment"
stories I had come upon in a long time was about a lady who
picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally
got up to the checker, she realized that one of her items had
no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got
on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear,
"PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE."
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store
apparently misunderstood the word "tampax" for
"THUMBTACKS."
In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom,
"DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE
KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER???"
Runner up:
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A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the
class was squirming around, scratching his crotch and
not paying attention. She went back to find out what was
going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he
had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office,
he was to phone his mother, and ask her what he should do
about it. He did it and he returned to the classroom, where
he sat down in his seat. Suddenly, there was a commotion at
the back of the room. The teacher went back to investigate,
only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging
out. "I thought I told you to call your mom!" she
screamed. "I did," he said, "and she told me
that if I could stick it out 'til noon, she'd come and pick
me up from school..."
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