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Weird Sex Laws
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No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of
garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria,
Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must
brush his teeth.
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Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't
allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in
bed with you-or holding you in his arms.
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Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between
members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after
sundown-if they're nude. (Apparently, if you wear socks, you're
safe from the law!)
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During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico no couple should
engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless
their car has curtains.
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In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear patent-leather
shoes.
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Clinton, Oklahoma has a law against masturbating while watching
two people having sex in a car.
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It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.
police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the
window. Any suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking
place must drive up from behind, honk his horn three times
and wait approximately two minutes before getting out of
his car to investigate.
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In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot off a gun
while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.
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In Detroit, couples are not allowed to make love in an
automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle
is parked on the couple's own property.
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A law in Fairbanks, Alaska does not allow moose to have
sex on city streets.
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In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or
widowed women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.
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In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have
sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.
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The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is
required to provide each guest with a clean and pressed
nightshirt. No couple, even if they are married, may
sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have sex unless
they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton
nightshirts.
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Another law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman
can't dance on a table in a saloon or bar unless she
has on at least three pounds, two ounces of clothing.
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A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors
should be called master, not mister, when addressed
by their female counterparts.
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An excerpt from brilliant Kentucky state legislation.
"No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any
highway within this state unless she be escorted by at
least two officers or unless she be armed with a
club".
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The following important amendment however is to be
considered here: "The provisions of this statute
shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds
nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to male
horses."
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In Kingsville, Texas there is a law against two pigs
having sex on the city's airport property.
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Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally
sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken
to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.
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In Los Angeles, California, a man is legally entitled to
beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt
can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's
consent to beat her with a wider strap. Consent should
be given prior to the event, as is carefully stipulated.
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In Maryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing
corsets because "The privilege of admiring the
curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should
not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."
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In Michigan, a woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair
without her husband's permission.
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In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.
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An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans
couples from having sex while standing inside a store's
walk-in meat freezer!
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In Norfolk, Virginia, a woman can't go out without
wearing a corset. (There was a civil-service job-for
men only-called a corset inspector.)
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In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make
love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
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In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip
off her clothing while standing in front of a man's
picture.
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In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is
required to have twin beds. And the beds must always be
a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room
for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on
the floor between the beds!
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A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed
to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance.
In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will
be published in the local newspaper. The man does not
receive any punishment.
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Utah state legislation outlaws all sex with anyone but
your spouse. Next to that adultery, oral and anal sex,
masturbation are considered sodomy and can lead to
imprisonment. Sex with an animal - unless performed
for profit - however is NOT considered sodomy. polygamy
- provided only the missionary position has been applied
- is only a misdemeanor.
(The following was received from Patrick Clark)
unterhund@mailcity.com
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A resident of Utah: Utah law does not consider masturbation
to be sodomy. Specifically, Utah Code section 76-5-403 (
http://www.le.state.ut.us/~code/TITLE76/htm/76_05048.htm
) defines sodomy to include the mouth or anus of one person, and
the genitals of another. Near as I can tell by reading the law,
both are guilty of the misdemeanor, unless it's without consent.
Then it's a felony for the aggressor. I can't find anything
making private masturbation illegal. In public, on the other
hand...
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Also, "polygamy" is actually "bigamy"
in Utah law (section 76-7-101 at
http://www.le.state.ut.us/~code/TITLE76/htm/76_09002.htm
), and it's a felony. Of course, adultery and fornication
are both illegal, but there's no mention of position in the
Utah Code anywhere.
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Finally, regarding sex with animals, it's not "sodomy,"
true. It's "bestiality," which is a misdemeanor
(section 76-9-301.8 at
http://www.le.state.ut.us/~code/TITLE76/htm/76_0B015.htm
). If done for pay--in fact, if any of the legal or illegal
things listed above (aside from bigamy) are done in public --
it's lewdness or sexual battery, depending on how willing any
other person involved might be (section 76-9-70 at
http://www.le.state.ut.us/~code/TITLE76/htm/76_0B037.htm
).
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Yes, it's anal of me to call this to your attention. I'm a
picky sort, especially when my state's already, um, interesting
reputation is unfairly attacked.')
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In Ventura County, California cats and dogs are not allowed
to have sex without a permit.
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The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is
the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position
is considered illegal.
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In Willowdale, Oregon no man may curse while having sex
with his wife.
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In the state of Washington there is a law against having
sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (Including the
wedding night).
And in a similar manner:
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In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals,
but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a
male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)
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In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's
genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them
during the examination. He may only see their reflection
in a mirror.
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Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a
corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs
of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of
wood at all times.
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The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
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There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel
the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them
for the privilege of having sex for the first time...
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for
virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is
there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes
close to this?)
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In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill
her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare
hands.!! The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be
killed in any manner desired.
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Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but
only in tropical fish stores.
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In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her
husband, and the first time this happens, her mother
must be in the room to witness the act.
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In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to
have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same
time.
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In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from
vending machines with one exception: prophylactics
may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in
places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption
on the premises."
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