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The RESPONSIBILITIES and DUTIES of a DOM
by
LES IS MORE(m)
Copyright©1998
The RESPONSIBILITIES and DUTIES of a DOM
Being Dominant/submissive is a state of mind. It is not a sex
act, it is not a game, and it is not a role. It is a state of
being and is totally asexual (neither male nor female)
First and foremost, a Dominant is always a Gentleman or Lady.
There is no excuse for being impolite or rude to others. Save this
for the submissive that needs and requires this of their Dominant.
Second, a Dominant must always be in control.
Drugs, even alcohol, are mind and body controlling agents. They
affect relationships and most importantly can affect a scene,
therefore taking away the control the Dominant MUST have.
Third, a Dominant is always honest.
To lie is to show you cannot be trusted and a submissive must
be able to trust you to respect you. Every submissive knows
that not every Dominant is super experienced and will respect
you much more if you tell the truth. Be honest with a submissive
about your level of experience with others and the submissive.
The submissive can even help you to gain experience and is really
an enjoyable learning process. Tell the submissive up-front if
You do not wish a monogamous relationship. Most submissives
understand and even expect this in a Dominant. You may not get
"that" submissive but you will not loose her/his respect.
Fourth, a Dominant accepts responsibility for all his/her actions.
Everyone makes mistakes. Do what is needed to make amends, and correct it.
Accept and admit the fact that you messed up. To seek an excuse for
something going wrong or hurting someone will cause you to lose respect.
Fifth, a Dominant expects but does not demand respect.
No Dominant demands strangers to call him/her Master/Mistress. Respect
is earned over time. Demanding Master/Mistress on your name means
nothing and is a word that when not earned is meaningless and makes
you to others appear to be a petty childish fool. Those that know
you and respect you will call you Master or Mistress when you earn
it, not before. Remember, to other Dominants you are not Their
Master/Mistress you are their equal do not DEMAND them too ever
call You that.
Sixth, a Dominant knows and understands the differences between needs,
desires and wants.
The submissive may want a 24/7 relationship with an understanding
Dominant. The submissive may desire a short relationship with a crude
rude person. The submissive may need a stable sharing marriage with
children.
Duties of a DOM
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It is the duty of a Dominant to control his/her emotions.
To punish a submissive in anger or to lash out to anyone is abusive
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It is the duty of a Dominant to remember that submission is a gift.
To misuse this gift is abusive. When the submissive is not free
to take back the gift it is no longer a gift.
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It is the duty of a Dominant to watch over and protect all submissives.
This does not mean to protect them from finding some other
Dominant and to keep them for oneself.
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It is the duty of a Dominant to take only a submissive that
will match him/her.
A submissive that is not into whips should not belong
to a Dominant that loves to whip submissives.
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It is the Duty of a Dominant to take only the amount
of submissives the DOM can properly handle, control,
love, comfort and care for. Do not keep a submissive
hanging, giving false hopes. Free and release the
submissive so the submissive can get along with
finding the right Dominant.
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It is the duty of a Dominant to watch and monitor
the scene carefully and to ensure the submissive is
not being harmed either physically or emotionally.
At any time the slightest thing can go wrong and the
scene is ruined for the submissive and pleasure becomes
actual pain.
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It is the duty of a Dominant after a scene to ensure
the submissive is emotionally stable.
During a scene the submissive is filled with hormones.
Afterwards the body reduces them and may cause severe
depression to the extent of being suicidal. The
submissive must be made to understand the depression
and or emotional release is normal and expected.
Normal emotions will return in hours to a day. Anything
longer is a sign of emotional instability in the
submissive and must be corrected before doing another
scene. (A Dominant can also experience this depression
after a high from the scene.) Each reacts differently
some stay high for weeks and when they come down
seek the scene again to regain the high. This also
can lead to problems such as longer, more intense
and dangerous scenes, with unknown Dominants.
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It is the duty of a Dominant to know and understand
what the needs, desires and wants of a submissive are.
Failure to do so may harm the submissive emotionally and
mentally.
Responsibilities of a DOM
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It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure an
unowned submissive is guided to a Dominant that is
suited to the submissive's wants, needs and desires.
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It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure the
submissive knows what being abusive is.
To insure this is to insure the submissive knows when
to call it quits.
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It is the responsibility of a Dominant to ensure the
submissive knows what the submissive's rights are.
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It is the responsibility of a Dominant to teach the
submissive information about the Lifestyle.
The best method is to teach the submissive how to
acquire this information and where he/she can
get it. An ignorant submissive can be an embarrassment
to a Dominant.
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It is the responsibility of a Dominant to insure the
submissive grows and develops under the Dominant's
ownership, in both the lifestyle and the public life
(i.e., job and family). Being submissive only means
being a "doormat" when the submissive has made it
clear that is what the submissive is looking for.
Dishonorable Acts
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For a Dominant to allow a submissive to be actually
harmed in ANY way is dishonorable.
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For a Dominant to allow a submissive's rights to
be violated is dishonorable.
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For a Dominant to play with and discard a submissive
just for amusement is dishonorable (exception is a
submissive that has declared this is the treatment
they need).
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Unless the submissive has declared themselves to
be unowned, another Dominant's interference in a
relationship is dishonorable.
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To chase after or scene with Another's submissive
without the other Dominant's permission and full
knowledge is dishonorable.
No Dominant can be expected to live up to the above 100% of the
time, others will respect him/her for trying and the harder
she/he tries the more respect all will have for the Dominant
and his/hers.
Written by:
LES IS MORE(m)
Copyright©1998
All rights are reserved by the author.
Copyright©1998 by LES IS MORE(m)
May not be published in whole or in part
without express written permission of the author
Published by Fetish Alliance with consent of author.
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