Subdrop and Aftercare...

by Love of Slavery (the webpage this came from is now defunct)

The first time i felt sub drop i confused the experience of sub drop with reality. It took me over a month to realize the horrible feelings i experienced were entirely due to body chemistry, and to then be able to approach scenes positively again.

The next time i experienced sub drop it was better for the simple fact that i knew what was happening to me. i could deal with the emotionalism better simply because i knew that is was physiological symptom, caused by chemical fluctuations, as a result of a scene.

Although sub drop is something subs may experience, it is not necessarily an accurate representation of real life. What i mean is, although you may feel some pretty negative feelings, and they may even be aimed at your Top, chances are they are completely the result of chemicals your body released during a scene. The good news is those feelings will settle back to manageable in a day or two. sub drop can feel like suffering from a lack of sleep, a hangover, nicotine withdrawal, and the worse case of PMS ever, all at once.

In my experience, the most intense part of sub drop can last from a few minutes to a few days. The feelings submissives feel during sub drop can be related to what they were feeling during the scene as it ended, or where they were emotionally when it began. For instance, some submissives always feel a small nagging bit of guilt in relation to the lifestyle. Therefore, during sub drop they may feel an overwhelming and unbearable amount of guilt. What feelings we experience may be what we repress in everyday life.

On a normal day, my reservoir of emotions have a two mile thick filter that person-to-person interactions have to pass through before they reached my emotions department. When ve experienced sub drop, it's felt as though my filter is gone and the tiniest of interactions feels awful. During sub drop, normal interactions are no longer normal. Everything i feel is magnified one thousand fold. It's similar to autism. The following feelings are common among submissives after a scene:

Separation Anxiety: The intense connection during a scene, along with the chemical release causes me to feel an intense separation anxiety when the scene is over. I end up being clingy, weepy, needy, emotional, and defensive, all at the same time. It can happen immediately after a scene or as late as the next day, and can last from a few minutes to even weeks.

Guilt: Many submissives feel extreme guilt after a scene. They feel as though what they've just participated in is a horribly sinful act which causes them to feel shame as their overriding emotion during sub drop. Often, depression can be a partner to guilt post scene.

Anger/Rage: The anger described here is not related to any type of abuse or inappropriate behavior by the Top. Depending on the state of mind the submissive was in when the scene ended, the submissive can feel displaced anger and resentment toward the Dom that is the result of the chemicals released during the scene and a natural reaction to the intensity of play. Another cause for anger: If the scene has involved edge play (pushing the limits of a submissive) the submissive may feel a sense of violation or misplaced trust, especially if the Dominant neglects extensive aftercare during rebound.

The submissive may need to cling to the dominant; and wish for the comfort, love, and reassurance of the dominant, but at the same time the anger the submissive feels causes them to separate themselves or wish to punish the dominant for their violation. During sub drop my emotions run high and low. One moment, i may feel relatively normal, the next i might feel as though i'm experiencing nicotine withdrawal so severe are the waves of emotions while my body attempts to correct the flux of chemicals within it. These are just some of the feelings i've experienced during sub drop. If you are a submissive who regularly suffers from sub drop but continues to participate in scenes in spite of this, ask your Top if scenes can be scheduled for times when the Top will be available for aftercare for extended periods. For instance Tops, if your submissive has Saturday and Sunday off, perhaps schedule the scene for Friday night. Most submissives feel back to normal within 48 hours, by scheduling on Friday you can give your submissive the emotional support they may need during the following days. It is the personal responsibility of the Dominant to care for and maintain the emotional health of their submissive. If a Dominant can not see to the aftercare of their submissive they should not engage in this type of activity.

At a minimum, if you cannot provide extensive aftercare, do not engage in the type of play that requires extensive aftercare. Not all play requires extensive aftercare and it is up to the top to learn when it is required. Do this by being available and solicitous until you have enough play experience with your sub to ascertain when it is necessary and when it is not. It is extremely important for a Top to know their bottom. They should know if edge-play is a trigger to a serious drop. If they know that edge-play causes their bottom to drop, the Top should insure they have plenty of aftercare planned and that they are emotionally attentive to their bottom until they are sure the bottom has recovered. Note: This may take days. i suggest you lure your sub back to earth instead of slamming them to the ground with an abrupt departure from the scene.

For instance, don't leave her side until she is well grounded unless for something to attend to her aftercare with. i.e. drink, lotion, etc. Suggestions for Subbie Aftercare: Light strokes on exposed skin. Running your fingers though her hair. Pillow talk. Tell her you were proud of her. Apply lotion to any areas that will benefit. Get the submissive a food and/or drink. Also, maybe ask what he/she wants to drink/eat. Hugs and Cuddling go far in bringing a subbie back safely. Make it blaringly obvious that you are still with her, and that your feelings for her didn't get expelled along with your ejaculate.