The Unofficial List of Things I’ve Learned from the Mentor Program

Unknown Author

As the year winds down, I’m looking back on all of the things we’ve done in the mentor program and reflecting on everything I’ve learned. I’m sure not everything I’ve learned was what the mentors intended to teach me, but that doesn’t make the lessons any less valuable, or my memories any less enjoyable. So, for your entertainment, here is the unofficial list of things I’ve learned this year:

1. Don’t get the wooden handle on the needle used for devil’s fire too close to the sterno.
2. The darnedest things, like, oh, learning that you really can do vaginal penetrations with a knife, will drop me into subspace during a mentor session.
3. No matter how much rope you use, you won’t find a submissive bone in some people’s bodies.
4. Making people scream is fun.
5. CBT is fun, because, well, see #4.
6. Most male mentors get a strange look on their faces when you say CBT is fun.
7. If you mention CBT, you can get a male sub to drive 200 miles just to bottom for your mentor session.
8. Yes, you really can safely kick someone in the balls. Just don’t miss.
9. Remember to turn off the electricity before removing the attachments from a violet wand.
10. Violet wands can burn if they’re turned up too high.
11. Don’t practice using a singletail in the nude.
12. Clothespins--they’re not just for hanging laundry.
13. If you haven’t been fisted in over a year, all of the Enya in the world won’t be enough to help you relax.
14. If you’re aiming for a precise spot on someone’s butt cheek during a waxing, don’t use a big candle. Especially not if the person’s butt crack is already sore.
15. If you’re cutting someone’s clothing off with a knife during a take-down scene, you might want to cut away from the sub and away from your fingers.

Thanks to all of the mentors and all of the folks who bottomed to me, for everything, both official and unofficial, that I learned this year.