From A Dom's Perspective: When is A Master A Master?

By Dragon~Lord aka Dennis © 2003

"See my eyes I can hardly see,
See me stand, I can hardly walk,
I believe you can make me whole,
See his tongue, he can hardly talk,
See my skin, I’m a mass of blood,
Change my life, Oh I know you can,
I believe you can make me well,
See my purse, I’m a poor, poor man,
Will you touch, will you mend me, Christ!
Will you touch, will you heal me, Christ!
Will you kiss, will you cure me, Christ!
Will you kiss; you can save me, Christ!"
" There are too many of you,
too, too many in the streets,
HEAL YOURSELVES!

-Jesus Christ Superstar

-Introspection of Mastery
I am Master!
No, not quite,
But, I am Dominant!
Yes, that you are.
So I am Master!
No, sorry not yet!
But I have all the skills!
True you have some, but not all!
Not all? Then I shall learn more!
That is better, you are now moving in the right direction.
When I have all the techniques,
I will be Master!
No, again I am sorry but you will not be as yet.
But I have those who call me Master!
Yes, they may but you are not!
But when will I be Master?
Now you are making progress.
So, I must always question?
Very good you are learning quickly.
So being a Master is more than skills?
Yes!
More than mastering the techniques?
Yes!
More than having those who wish to serve?
Oh very much so, sir.
More than being Dominant?
Exceedingly so!
More than capping my name?
You’re slipping. Or you’re joking!
Joking, so you are telling me that there is
so much more to being a Master?
Yes sir that is what I am saying!
So even though they wear my collar...
Tis but a symbol sir, of their love and desire for you, not your Mastery.
But they call me "Master?"
Sir, it is but the only way they would wish to address you!
You mean they don’t mean it?
Nay sir, they mean it as much as they need it, but you are not yet a Master!
So, I must always question my Mastery?
Nay! Just review and revise, Mastery is a journey sir, not a destination.
Will I ever be a Master?
As long as you understand that it is a never-ending journey
Where something new can always be learned,
A Master sir is one who never stops learning!
So, I thank thee, for your insight sir, who are you?
Why sir, do you not see, I am the Master within you!

- Dennis Burns

Well, again I have given a very verbose intro, but again I feel it is relevant to my article, which is about when is a Master a Master and how it is not always what one may think it is. I felt it was appropriate to start off with the song from Jesus Christ Super Star for there are two edges to that blade. The second piece is a dialogue of Mastery I have had many times within; when I have seen some slippage of my Id and my Superego.

So let’s slide along the dual edges of the first piece:

First edge: many who are on their Mastery journey feel they can heal all past wounds of those they hold dear. In a word: BULLSHIT! We all would love to be omnipotent and cure the lepers in our lives, fix the wing of every wounded bird we see, repair the rips and tears that life has fostered upon those who we hold dear, or wish to hold dear. The truth is we cannot, we can assist, we can support, we can even show them alternative paths to follow but we cannot really heal anyone but ourselves. Oh I have assist a few in the management of their pain, or the journey towards wellness, I have even help some to begin to overcome what they had thought were walls once insurmountable. But I, I repeat I did not do anything magical or mysterious, though at the time of the assistance it may have seemed so. I use Psychodrama for some extreme cases, but all healing comes from within, the stage is the stage, the story is the story, yet the understanding is personal. As we travel this path towards Mastery and we begin to have some successes in our assistance for others in their own enlightenment of self, we can easily begin to believe the chants of our devotees. We are not gods in leather (Gasp! I am sure I can hear the torches being ignited at this moment, "Burn the monster" sung in the streets outside, as well.)

We are also not without limits of endurance; we are very capable of finding the bottom of our well. We cannot heal them all, nor can we assist all in their healing, hell some truth be known all are not always curable, some thrive on their pain, it becomes the not just the clothes they wear but their very skin. Some of our community has a very narrow elitist mindset that we are different and better adjusted than the ‘vanilla’ world beyond. Sorry, we are interchangeable, we are a microcosm of the rest of the damn world, just as there are dork’s in the vanilla world, we got’em too! Just as there are the incurable emotional lepers and the jackals that prey on them outside, there is a similar ratio within; damn it’s just a door or two that separate us. One of the main aspects of one on ‘the path’ is the ability to feel empathy and to wish well for others. (At least in my opinion.) We sometimes burn out trying to help the ones who are beyond our reach. So be-aware, you do not have an infinite capacity of energy, while some of the emotional vampires do have an infinite thirst.

Second edge: as we travel ‘the path’ we learn something new, acquire another skill, or display a deeper insight that someone sees as the salve that will heal their wounds or that you have the capacity to fill their needs, though these needs may not even truly be known to themselves. So we sometimes stretch ourselves beyond our own human limits and try to be there for more than we should strive for, usually one or two too many. This causes all concerned to suffer. We bite off more than we can chew, no matter how good the intention was we overstep ourselves and cause pain where none was needed. This happens to the best of us as I have seen it and unfortunately caused it as well.

With the Internet, and the rising popularity of the "shudder" Lifestyle or at least to be seen as a bit kinky (second shudder), there are many who seek Master’s to heal them, fill their needs, fill the gap in their lives, fill the void and there are those who seek submissives or slaves as well. There is nothing wrong with this, NOTHING AT ALL! What is a problem is that these new ones have a difficult time with things like titles, honorifics, local or house protocols, or a good understanding of the dynamics of this life. Damn so do most of us who have been doing this since Jesus forgot his safe word on the cross. (Damn it’s just a joke! Stop throwing bibles at me, I have one that’s autographed.) One of the most discussed topics online between most of us older practitioners is the breakdown or who and what we are, so it is no wonder that the new ones are confused.

To the new ones: You may be submissive, or even slave-hearted, but you are not owned until it is a mutual agreement usually accomplished with a contract or collaring. No matter how powerful the feelings you have for another or how their words or actions may incite you, remember that your gift (I heard someone cringe, tough, I feel it is a gift in the beginning for a slave, and every time as a sub) of surrender/submission/slavery is something to take slowly as you learn about each other. But no matter how deep your feelings and needs are until there is an agreement of status between each, you are not someone’s slave, sub, or play-partner with benefits. I have never told anyone to call me Master, even my own slaves. Yet if someone wishes to gift that honorific on any one or to myself, then it is a sign of respect. One is not owned unless collared or contracted as far as I’m concerned. So be careful of your heart. It is easily damaged, even when it was not intended, by misunderstanding, miscommunication, or misinterpretation of concepts.

And now in a rare bit of restraint on my verbose self. The second piece is fairly self-explanatory. It is after all a journey and not a destination. Remember, take what you like and leave what you don’t, for these are just the words and musing of mine. If you have any comments or questions please feel free complete the form below!

Be well and blessed be!
Dragon~Lord

Sans peur et sans reproche
(At least I try to be)

"Credendo Vides"
(In Believing, one sees)

"What color is a Dragon my son?"
"Crimson, Master, Bloody crimson, no matter what doth the eyes say"