SAADE's House Rules

SAADE recognizes that Scene Etiquette is dynamic and personal. It often differs depending on the individual group, organization or personal situation. SAADE hereby adopts and promotes the practice of Scene Etiquette which fosters courtesy, respect and confidentiality among individuals within the SM/leather/fetish community.

We ask our members and their guests to follow these rules while attending SAADE meetings, functions and/or any of SAADE’s special interest groups.

These house rules form a foundation or set of expectations for the overall club. Some of SAADE’s special interest groups have added other rules to this foundation to more accurately meet the needs of their group.

Code of Conduct:

1. Touch: It is inappropriate to touch other people or their property without first obtaining permission. Never assume. Communication is the key to initiating play or determining the level of intimacy you may have toward another.  Our basic premise is consent. Be sure you have consent before you move ahead to play or touch.
2. Participation: Play scenes are personal and the area in which they take place is to be respected. Again, consent is the basic premise. Do NOT join a scene unless specifically asked to do so! Do not assume you are a welcome addition to any scene that is in progress unless you are specifically asked to join in.
3. Unintentional Behavior: Sometimes we invade or disrupt play scenes unintentionally. We ask all SAADE members practice situational awareness. Be aware and check yourself. Keep conversation, laughter and/or comments to a minimum in the play areas. Don’t make any loud noises or disruptions that may break the play space atmosphere.

   We also ask SAADE members for patience with new members and guests. SAADE is a place of learning and thus has new people experiencing the lifestyle for the first time. Mistakes are bound to happen. Please meet them with humor and understanding . If you feel correction is needed, ask a council member or DM to speak with them.

4. CONFLICT RESOLUTION: We understand that conflicts happen in life. Sometimes misunderstandings occur and bad feelings result from them. We ask that members strive to resolve these conflicts outside of the SAADE events.

   When conflicts arise, we ask that you pursue the following protocol of conflict resolution:

   1. Contact the individual privately and try to discuss and work out any differences first.
   2. If conflict has happened at another group or event, contact the arbiter or leadership of the group in which conflicts took place and try to arrange to work out the problems within that organization.
   3. If this fails, engage a trusted third party mutual friend to be present. Take the extra step and seek to work out differences through personal communications.
   4. As a last resort, you may consider contacting the D/S mediation team and arrange a mediation session.

   The SAADE Council is very serious about taking SAADE outside of realm of in-fighting and politics. Our goals are directed toward educational experiences. We ask for your understanding, help and support in our effort to move us out of community division. In order to achieve this goal, we must be firm in our resolve and adhere to a policy that pertains to everyone.

5. Confidentiality and Consent
   1. Not all members are open with their families and employers about their BDSM involvement, sexual orientation or personal fetishes. Information about other members of SAADE is not to be shared without the direct consent of the person in question.
   2. Never take pictures without the consent of all parties involved.
   3. Do not mention proper names or describe a person in such a way that their identity may be determined, without consent of that person.
   4. Never give out addresses of play parties except to your sponsored guests.
   5. Never give out e-mail addresses without consent of that person.
   6. Do not discuss ("out") the alternative activities or preferences of a member of SAADE to any person, organization or business not directly involved with SAADE.
6. Educational Mission: Please remember, as a whole, we are not a politically oriented group. SAADE’s mission is education, community building and fun. There are other venues for political wrangling. This is a neutral zone for exploring the things we have in common.
7. Reserved Rights: We reserve the right to ask for legal identification. We reserve the right to decline membership without stating a reason. We do not discriminate on the basis of race, religion, ethnic background, age above majority, sexual orientation or physical ability.

SAADE Dungeon Monitors:

1. All SAADE sponsored play parties and events will have at least one Dungeon Monitor (DM) per fifty (50) attendees.
2. The DM’s shall not be encumbered with any other duties that may distract him/her from the role of DM, so they won’t stop for lengthy visits or chats.
3. The DM will have access to all areas during an event. Do not interrupt a scene. If you have a concern about a scene bring it to the attention of a DM.
4. Only DMs may interrupt a scene.
5. The SAADE Council has faith in their DMs, so decisions made by the DM's concerning safety, security or removal are not immediately negotiable.

Party Rules:

1. All attendees must present their membership card for admission, or be a guest of a card-carrying member; and sign, or have already signed a liability waiver.
2. Each member may bring up to two guests. Guests are the sole responsibility of the sponsoring member.  They are expected to know the rules and be accepting of our lifestyle and play. The member will be held responsible for the guest’s behavior.
3. Guests must be over eighteen years of age.
4. All guests are expected to present a valid ID, and both read and sign a waiver stating they understand the nature of the event they are attending.
5. Prostitution, solicitation, and negotiation of compensation for sexual services ARE ILLEGAL and will  not be tolerated. Violations shall result in immediate removal and banning from future events. Scene professionals may not accept payment for any services rendered at a SAADE event.
6. No illegal substances of any kind are allowed at SAADE events and firearms and firearm replicas may not be brought into any SAADE event.
7. All play shall be consensual.
8. Normal scene etiquette is required.
9. Please do not monopolize the equipment (A good rule of thumb - if people are waiting do not stay on any one piece of equipment for more than 70 minutes).
10. Bring your own equipment, props and toys for your type of play.
11. Bring bodily fluid concerns to the attention of the DMs.
12. Wax, fire, water sports and scenes involving bodily fluids need to be brought to the DM’s attention prior to play. If an area has been set aside for those purposes, only use that area.  Place the fire extinguisher next to the scene, and have a wet towel next to you, a bowl of water and whatever other safety precautions need to be in place. Also, arrange for a "second".
13. Safe sex is recommended, if you choose to do this type of scene.
14. Please clean up after your scene. Leave all equipment free of sweat, blood, other bodily fluids, wax, toys, etc.
15. Remember, do not touch other people or property without first asking permission. Never assume a sub is "fair game". No one is fair game here. Always ask first.
16. Never handle other people’s toys or toy bag without permission.
17. Smoke in designated areas only.  And please use the ashtrays provided. (DM’s will know where these areas are).
18. Treat the hosts’ home with respect.  Please if possible, help clean up after the party.
19. Who you see and where these events are held will be kept confidential.
20. Additional House Rules may also apply, depending upon location, host, and/or other circumstances.

Consequences:

Please be mindful that Scene Etiquette is expected of all SAADE members. Willful and ongoing disrespect of other members may be grounds for the suspension of membership privileges and/or terminating membership and attendance to SAADE functions and special interest groups.

TERMINATION POLICY:

When individual behavior begins to cause a problem within SAADE we rely on the communication protocols espoused above.

However, when a members errant behavior rises above the ability of our communication protocols, we begin to consider suspension or termination procedures. Before this stage can be engaged, there already has been a communication process taking place

It is important to note that no membership can be summarily terminated from SAADE. The decision to suspend or terminate goes to Council and the termination process is triggered. It goes like this:

1. When communication protocols fail the member is warned that his/her membership is subject to review. We discuss this with the individual and the reasons why. At the same time an investigation of past behavior is initiated to determine patterns of difficulty or ongoing disruption.

   A decision to terminate a membership is not made by consensus. It is one of the few times that a vote is taken; membership termination requires the unanimous decision of all sitting council members.

2. When a decision is reached to terminate a member a sequence of short communications take place:
   1. A Letter of Membership Termination is sent to the member via email. This document is regarded as confidential information and is not for public distribution.

      We do not make any announcements to the SAADE lists about this matter. We feel that a departing member may not have been a good fit here at SAADE but should have the opportunity to make readjustments and find another home to grow and to prosper.

      An exception to this rule is if we discover that a departing member somehow poses a danger or threat to others. In this case we have an obligation to contact our members and reciprocal groups.

   2. A request for the return of the SAADE Card with a specific due date is formally made. If the SAADE Card is returned that is the end of the matter.
   3. If a SAADE card is not returned it triggers another communication which is sent to our reciprocal groups only.

      This Notification of Membership Termination is not sent to influence the reciprocal club but to flag them that we can no longer vouch for a particular member as being in good standing with our club. The SAADE card acts as a kink ID at some of the clubs and local private parties. They accept that our waivers are in effect when the card is presented. Therefore our members may not have to sign their waiver.

      This Notification of Membership Termination is not sent to a public list but to a leader within that organization. It is then shared with the governing boards. To date, no breech of confidentiality has occurred within any reciprocal group.

Conclusion:

These actions are designed to end an irresolvable matter. Once a matter is considered closed, we move on. SAADE is involved in producing over a hundred varied learning experiences a year, we have a growing social component and we work in co-sponsored programming with other clubs in the area.

We prefer to keep our focus on positive activities of SAADE.

Copyright by SAADE © 2004-2005

SAADE is a private, non-profit association formed under Article 1396-70.01, Texas Civil Statutes (Texas Uniform Unincorporated Nonprofit Association Act.) Application for membership in SAADE shall be open to all persons of legal age who understand and support the mission statement of SAADE, its rules and ethics, and pay the required dues. Application for membership shall be available without regard for sex, race, creed, color, religion, marital or relationship status, sexual orientation, national or ethnic origin, citizenship, sensory or physical challenges, or age, provided the member has reached the age of majority as determined by the laws of the State of Texas. Dues, donations, and contributions to SAADE are not tax-deductible.