More on Dominance

By Lord Thunder

"Listening and learning are the foundations upon which
I have found My Dominance"

My Dominance recognizes a certain benign weakness of character. It takes into account that I too am human and subject to those same faults as men not involved in this lifestyle. I am not beyond admitting My faults, taking action to correct them when possible and seeking the guidance of other Dominants or submissives to assist in overcoming these shortfalls. I do not see this as a 'lack of Dominance', instead as a normal human attribute, not to be taken lightly or discarded just because it doesn't seem "Domly."

Many feel Dominance as an emotion as do I... I have encountered some who have told Me that Dominance is a "stature" or "status"... to this I say nonsense. Dominance is clearly a personal character trait, acted upon by those fortunate enough to recognize it and wise enough to wish to share it with a submissive with which they are compatible. It is this sharing that begins the cycle of power... and establishes the dynamics of the power exchange between the couple. Absent the sharing... absent both parts of the whole there can be no synergy, for as we all learn early on... there can be no Dominance without submission... just as there can be no submission absent Dominance.

Time is the friend and the hidden enemy of Dominance. It is human nature to be impatient and impulsive, to act or react based on what we see, hear or otherwise perceive something to be. The problem arises when we know what we want but don't know how to get it... or don't know what we want, but see others having a good time and feel left out as a result of our own ignorance. So we begin a journey of learning which, of course, takes Time.

Many choose a "learn as you go" attitude. Nothing wrong with that taken in perspective with a dash of patience, and a spoonful of ambition. We see many, particularly in an on-line environment, take on the mirror image of another they have seen cavorting in chat rooms They spend a few days on a "swoon-thunk" profile and "Dominant" screen name and proceed to profess to all who will listen, that they are the all knowing, most experienced, best versed, highly sensual Dominant in the world. With the crack of a cyber whip and the flash of an AOL crop they are off to the races... seeking out and often finding a submissive who with ::batting eyelashes:: and :: exposing a well rounded breast:: are seeking reality in their life as well. No argument is offered here as to the benefits of Internet Responsive Chat (IRC)... certainly it has it's place. Speaking from experience, I have learned much from this arena... and somehow, still manage to keep it in perspective. But for some, again as we all know, it often becomes a nightmare of rapid fire, meaningless cyber with little or no redeeming factors... and little or no D/s whatsoever.

A very close submissive friend once told me early on that Dominance for a sub is the banquet table of life... that submissives feed on Dominance as the lifeblood and mainstay of their existence. I see Dominance as only half of the table, only a portion of the many delights found there... submission is of course the other half... the balance of Natures nutrition.

She went on to say that Dominants must get into the mind of a submissive... "control the mind and the body will follow." I have learned that a desire for submission takes up residency early in life in the mind of a submissive... it maintains a place there forever. Submission lies passively in wait for Dominance... often screaming for release, at times a lost child seeking comfort and fulfillment. Offered as a precious gift, submission recognizes Dominance, and when earned, this gift falls into its rightful place completing the circle... filling the void.

Dominance earns but cannot command Respect. A demand for Respect gone unheeded by a submissive is Respect unearned. Some "dominants" find this troubling, expecting to be called "Master," "Sir" or some other term denoting their perceived "status" in D/s. Time to grow up... stop... listen and learn. I'll say it one more time... A true Dominant earns respect... 'kneel bitch' doesn't cut it.

Dominance grows with understanding... listening and learning are the foundations upon which I have found My Dominance to flourish. Listening to My submissive... what is she saying? Chances are, she is telling you what she wants. Of course we already know this... after all we are Dominant... right?

Dominance is Trust, Honesty, Devotion, Commitment and Values... Dominance is what we are... How we feel... Dominance is what we do and what we say, not how we say it... that part comes naturally.

© 1999 LordThunder