Your Definition of Domination

Getting the domination you need

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Master kept at it. He continued to ask me the same question every other week and I was unable to verbalize an answer. "What is your definition of domination?" It truly seems like a simple enough question for someone such as myself who had spent a great amount of time learning all that I could about domination and submission. But it wasn't. I couldn't answer. All I had were gut feelings that I was following. It was nine months later that I finally sat down to write out an answer and that's when I realized this was not at all easy and most definitely the most difficult question I had ever answered regarding D/s. It was also the most enlightening, and I now believe that every submissive needs to answer this same question for herself. In the previous article I helped you to pinpoint the kind of man you need versus want. This is not the same thing. You were identifying the type of man you could see as your dominant. You can find a great guy who is a dominant and seems to suit you, but will he provide the level of control and domination you need and crave? The level of domination he is comfortable with and the level you desire may be two different things.

It is imperative that you are able to communicate what you expect from submission. To do that, you must have a clear understanding of what you expect from domination as well. So, get that pen and paper out yet again. Give yourself plenty of time for this. I scribbled for about an hour a day for one week and even now I have more to add. Whatever you do, don't expect your personal definition of domination to forever remain the same. It will change and grow as you experience new situations and people. Now, ask yourself......what does it take for me to feel submissive? What brings out the submissive nature in me?

Below is my definition of domination. This is what I need from a dominant to truly make the most of my submission. You might want something more or less intense than myself. A dominant needs to know what it is you expect from this lifestyle and it is your responsibility to have the answer. Good luck in your journey.

My Definition of Domination
(this will change and grow as I do)
Someone emotionally, physically, intellectually stronger than myself.

• Exerts his will over mine regarding my well being and the well being of the relationship.
• Has enough life experience, knowledge, wisdom to be my mentor and teacher.
• Demands nothing less than my best effort in all I do.
• Uses me as his tool and canvas to quench his darkest desires.
• Creates an atmosphere of safety around me
• Communicates and maintains well defined boundaries regarding accepted behavior.
• Enjoys leadership and thrives on being the one in control. It sustains him just as much as the air he breathes: I want to FEEL this.
• Provides and promotes discipline.
• Readily and without prompting communicates PRECISELY what I need to be/do in order to be the best for him and satisfy all of his needs.

Relishes pushing my sensual and sexual boundaries taking me to new levels and greater heights of sensation and experience. He is constantly looking for new and creative ways to bring out the inner beast in me.