What are role playing relationships about?
How do they work?

by Little Girl Lost

This was a post I wrote to an age play mailing list during the early stages of my experimentation. I thought it may be of interest to some readers.

First off, there are many forms of role-play besides age play... but I'll stick to just age play because of the nature of this site.

Second, not everyone plays the same way so these are not "rules" written in stone.

Third, there is a BIG difference between the cyber culture and the r/t players. I think a lot of cyber relationships are simply about writing stories/letters back and forth in which one or more people play at being a different age than they are. Frequently one partner takes on the role of Daddy, Mommy, Uncle, Babysitter, Teacher, Nun, or such while the other partner takes on the role of daughter, son, niece, student, baby, or whatever. I am sure that many cyber relationships go deeper than this but I would hazard to say that the majority of them are mostly about writing cyber-erotica based around those concepts. (Nothing wrong with that... it is just different from most r/t players.) Frequently, but not always, the partner with the "older" role is also acting as the dominant partner in a D/s style relationship. The difference between the classic Dominant/submissive relationship and the age play style relationship is that the age play usually deals with less extreme pain and a more nurturing style. It also seems to attract a lot of online "spankophiles" who enjoy writing about spankings.

In a r/t situation there seem to be several main "factions" that exist. They are also patterned after the D/s style of relationship but unlike the cyber version they usually include a lot of negotiation and possibly a contract. There is far more personal responsibility on the part of the players and the emotional and physical goals of the partnership are thoroughly discussed and explored. Some people engage in age play as a part of their primary relationship or marriage while others engage in it only on the side of their primary relationships. The main "factions" of real time players seem to break down kind of like this (although you can mix and match):

• Infantilists - Enjoy being diapered and treated like babies.

• "Pure" Diaper fetishists - They aren't actually age players, they have a diaper fetish and that is all.

• "Sissies" - Adult males who like to cross-dress and role play as female children. They frequently have the added fetish for panties and lace.

• BDSM/age play - People who mix classic age play stuff such as a teacher/student scene with classic BDSM such as flogging or bondage.

• Non-sexual players - Those that are into it strictly for the role playing aspects. They would be repulsed or upset if you brought sex into it.

• Sexual players - Those whose primary aim is sexual.

• Spankers - People who are mainly into it to set up spanking scenes.

• "Older Children" - People who enjoy playing children that are beyond the diapering stage. The main categories seem to be toddlers, elementary school, middle school, high school, and college kids.

The scenes people are involved in and the relationships they share depend on what "faction" they fall into. As for myself, I am all over the place and play in many factions... but I usually am submitting to my Daddy, dressing and acting as a young girl, being disciplined, being taught, and going on trips to places like the zoo. I take baths with him, am tucked into bed by him, and have frequent spankings, canings, and other BDSM-related things go on. I play in public dungeons at times. I look to be vulnerable and trusting in kid role and want my partner to help me into the headspace to experience the world in a fresh and unique way again. I was not in it to experience what my actual childhood was about, or to relive any real trauma or anything... although I have found at times this kind of thing can be enjoyable too. I am mostly in that headspace for the joy, creativity, closeness and exploration that this type of play offers. I don't have as structured an arrangement as most. I guess the real answer to how do role playing relationships work is... how do you want YOUR role playing relationship to work? What do you want it to be about?