Spanking

By Raven Shadowborne © 1998

Just about everyone knows what a spanking is. Many people have felt them at some point in their lives, usually as children when they had done something wrong. Many people look at spanking as a disciplinary measure only and wonder how those of us in BDSM can enjoy spanking and even find it erotically stimulating. This is one of my favorite types of play. This is also one of the few types of pain play that can be done by anyone without any extra toys. All you need is your own hands and someone to spank.

A spanking can be done in any number of positions and is comprised of striking the buttocks and sometimes the upper thighs. There are those who say a spanking is only a spanking if just a hand is used and only buttocks are struck. I'm not one of those. For me, it's the positioning and tone of the session that differentiates it from other types of play. I include the use of paddles, straps, belts, crops and slappers under the heading of spanking. Slippers, rulers and many other toys can also be used. Depending on the position chosen, some toys may be uncomfortable for the spanker to use. Most of the positions place the spankee in a bent over body posture, presenting their bottom to the spanker.

OTK (over the knee or lap) is the classic spanking position. The spankee lays themselves across the spanker's lap. The spankee's hips should rest on the thigh of the spanker's dominant hand. (right or left depending on which hand is dominant). Their hands can be touching the floor or the rungs of a chair. The spanker should place his arm across the lower back of the spankee, hand holding at the waist and elbow resting comfortably between or beneath the shoulder blades. This stabilizes the spankee and prevents any possible falling off the lap as well as giving the spanker control of the spankee's body to hold him/her in place. This is best done in a straight back chair or in some other place that allows the spanker to sit upright comfortably and support the weight of the spankee. Variances on this position can include placing the legs of the spankee between the legs of the spanker, and having them bend over one thigh. This effectively traps the spankee's legs and prevents kicking or interference. This position also increases the humiliation factor for the spankee. Being over someone's lap to be spanked can be quite humiliating for some people.

Other positions can include laying face down on a flat surface, elevating the hips (and therefore the buttocks) with pillows, bending over a table or desk, bending over and grasping shins, ankles or knees (this is classic paddling position), and bending over the back of a piece of furniture such as a couch or chair. Whatever the position, the spanker should have easy access to the spankee without having to bend over and with adequate room for what ever he/she is going to use for the spanking. Selecting a position is up to the people involved but you may want to consider the following factors when deciding. If this is to be a long session, a more comfortable position for both participants might be a good idea. If this is to be a punishment session you may wish to choose a position that requires the spankee to participate by continuously having to lift his/her buttocks for the next strike.

The pain of a spanking can last quite some time after the spanking is completed. It is not the strength of the strikes which creates the lasting effect, it is the length of time the session went on. During a spanking, the nerve endings in the buttocks become numb decreasing much of the actual pain. If you are going for pain (as in a punishment for example) you may wish to take periodic breaks between spanking sessions to allow the nerves to come back to life. If you are going for that "lasting glow", you may wish to consider using lighter strikes for a longer period of time or taking breaks as above. If you want to create more sting with your hand, try separating your fingers as you strike, this displaces the sting over a larger area and allows more airflow between the fingers effectively creating more strength behind the blow. Another way is to hold the hand slightly cupped, fingers tightly together and wrist rigid. This creates a sensation similar to a paddle. The endorphins in the body will respond to the pain and create a high for the spankee. Some safety tips, don't strike an area that is white in color or already forming a bruise. This can cause more serious bruising. Alternate the areas you are striking. This creates a wider base of warmth and prevents the nerves from going numb too fast. Do not strike the kidney area.

Spankings can be very erotic. The heat generated in the buttocks will spread throughout the pelvic area of the spankee. This heat can raise one's passions quickly. A slow spanking, alternating the strength of the blows can be quite arousing. For those who enjoy pain play, this creates a warm up so the harder blows do not feel painful. To increase the arousing effects of a spanking you can do many different things. Some of which are to draw it out, tell the spankee what you are going to do to them, how aroused it will make them, how much you enjoy it. Play it up, slowly position and reposition the spankee. Mix the strikes with other arousing touches, caresses, kisses and even nibbles. Add some toys if you wish to, a vibrating butt plug, vibrating egg, or other things which really turn your partner on. Caress the buttocks with ice, the sharp contrast in sensations can cause many people to become very aroused. Alternate your strikes to include the back of the thighs, inner thighs, sweet spot (where thigh meets the curve of the buttock) and even genitals. (use lighter strikes on the genital area, the nerves there are a lot more sensitive than the buttocks) The OTK position places the clitoris of a female spankee in contact with the thigh of the spanker, this can allow for the woman to become very aroused as she wiggles on the lap therefore stimulating the clitoris.

After the spanking it is important to follow with the proper after care. Cuddling your partner, or other ways of soothing him or her are useful in helping your partner to come down. A cooling lotion applied to the heated skin can be a great way to soothe your partner, as well as lead into other activities. The proper aftercare can bring the session to a wonderful close and prevent confusion or alienation of the spankee. If the spanking was for punishment, these soothing actions can of course not be done. But eventually the spankee should be made aware that they have been forgiven for the transgression and assured that you still care for them.