Guide to Genital Shaving

One of the most discussed subjects, when it comes to BDSM, is genital shaving. Go read any popular discussion list or newsgroup - every so often the subject will pop up again. There are many different ideas and opinions on shaving. In this section we'll try to outline what can and cannot be done, and how to do it safely and manageably.

The very basics first. There are various techniques to temporarily or permanently remove pubic hair. We'll describe all of them in this section, but let's start at the very beginning. (Note: there's very little difference between the male and female genital area when it comes to shaving, with one major exception: shaving the male genital area is a lot more work and - especially when doing it yourself - the risk of self-inflicted cuts is higher.)

For starters, let's dispel a few urban legends:

• When you shave your hair, it will grow back faster - Nope, the growth process will neither speed up, nor will it slow down, it'll just grow as it did before. And by the way, especially in the genital area, hair breaks and is pulled out all the time as a result of friction. The follicles (where the hair grows) can't see or feel if you shave. A hair - no matter what commercials may try to tell you - is dead material. It doesn't feel, it doesn't register anything and it doesn't keep records of previous treatment. The fact of the matter is that as you grow older the body hair in some areas may grow a little faster - and longer - but that's only the result of redundant genetic encoding.

• When you shave your hair will become thicker - Also not true. Again, this may be the result of the aging process (between 20 and 50).

• Shaving creates ingrown hairs - If this was true, the vast majority of men would spend half their lives treating ingrown hair, since they shave every day. Ingrown hair is the result of poor shaving (not close enough), poor maintenance (not frequent enough) or regrowing it on purpose but with insufficient care. Yes, you do need to care for pubic hair in the event you want to grow it back.

Why is genital shaving so popular in the BDSM Scene?

There are various reasons for the fact that genital shaving is probably one of the most widespread habits in the BDSM community. In fact, in some countries and areas, shaving a submissive is almost general custom. First of all this: bear in mind that there are no general rules. You and only you are the master of your own sexuality and as always: if you don't want it, don't do it. And if you want to do it "differently"? Do it differently.

• The main attraction in shaving is the sense of vulnerability. The human skin - especially in the genital area - suddenly becomes very soft and the feeling is totally different. Plus: the view is totally different.

• Another main attraction is the fact that to many submissives a shaven genital area is a secret sign of submission. Both partners know about it, the sub feels it every day, maintaining it is an act of submission and a powerful reminder, and you can do it without anybody else knowing about it.

• Quite a few people do it for hygienic reasons. Especially if you have genital piercings shaving the area is a very good idea.

• Finally, to many people there is the aspect of subtle humiliation. In ancient Egypt and Greece prostitutes were obliged to shave, both for hygienic reasons and as a clear signal of their profession.

A few things to consider before shaving the genitals

Every body is different and hence all body hair is different. Some have a lot, others have less, colors are different and growing characteristics are different. What this means is that in your individual case things may not always be as the general aspects described here. For example, some people will grow their body hair back very fast, while, for others, it will take a long time. For this reason, efforts to remove pubic hair in a more permanent way may not be easy and sometimes even entirely impossible.

One thing is obvious though: unless you opt for permanent removal, shaving is something that you will need to do regularly - sometimes even daily - if you're planning to keep the surface smooth. As every 14 or 15 year old boy knows: once you start to shave there is no turning back, unless you're planning to grow a beard.

The other thing is that you'll need to invest in special shaving equipment and care products. What's suitable for other areas, such as face, legs or armpits, won't always be suitable for the genital area. And that goes for both men and women.

As we said, the basics for male and female shaving are largely identical, we'll do the female part first.

Razor shaving

This option is very likely to set you up with a daily task. Of course there are many reasons why such a task can be a lot of fun - but there are a few other things to consider. What may be appealing now may not be after three, four or five weeks. Especially people with online relationships quickly get bored with a daily time consuming shaving task.

The first time
There is of course the option to either self-shave or the dominant doing the first shave. No matter what your choice will be, the technical stuff is identical:

• Step one: Don't even try to remove pubic hair with just a razor. You need to clip it first, using a pair of sharp scissors. Make sure you remove as much hair as possible with the scissors. If you don't you won't be shaving but only pulling out the longer hairs during the actual shaving, which is painful and quickly blunts your razor. That again will make the shaving process more painful and less effective.

• Step Two: After the hair has been cropped as much as possible you need to prepare for shaving. In order to both achieve a very close shave - i.e. a smooth surface - and prevent pimples and irritated skin later, you'll do well to prepare yourself before you shave. The best idea - if you have a tub - is to take a long hot bath now and make sure the area - and the hair - is soft and smooth. Your next best option is a hot shower with a lot of attention for the soon-to-be shaved area. The more water you use, the better. After bathing or showering, dry yourself, including the area and wait a few minutes in order to allow the skin to recuperate a bit.

• Step Three: the actual shaving. GENEROUSLY apply shaving cream. Forget about all of the male shaving creams. If you cannot find specialized creams for female shaving (there are lots of them available for almost all skin types) resort to the mildest - non-perfumed - male variety. Don't even try just using soap (as is customary in many medical environments. It is a totally unsuitable method for genital shaving).

As you can see, you need to prepare - and probably do some dedicated shopping prior to the first shave. That goes for the razor you're planning to use as well. Warning: appealing or not, the old fashioned switch-blade razor is totally unsuitable for genital shaving and in fact dangerous. The same goes for disposable razors. What you need is safety razor, designed for female use. The Wilkinson Sword female razor is your best choice by miles. Not only is the design tailored to the curves on the female body (and the grip tailored to use in a "wet" environment since female shaving always requires a lot more water than the male - facial - shaving process), also the blades itself are protected by thin steel wires, which will make it next to impossible to cut yourself.

Pull the skin straight with your free hand and shave without applying pressure. Move the razor slowly over the skin, preferably in the counter-direction of the hair. Just one pass probably will not do the trick. You may want to shave the same area two or three times before it is totally smooth. Keep applying shaving cream, as much as you can and have some alum readily available, just in case you draw a little blood.

• Step Four: When the shaving is done again wash generously with a lot of warm water. Make sure you wash all the hair and soap away.

• Step Five: No you're not there yet - you need aftercare. Soft baby oil will do wonders if you want to keep your skin smooth and soft and prevent pimples from coming up. If you have tender skin, aloe vera cream (preferably with Vitamin E added to it) or a dedicated aftercare product (for women - male aftershave usually bites terribly and will only make things worse). Once shaved, make it habit to protect your now shaven mons and labia (outside) with creams or baby oil.

NOTE: If you're planning to have sex and need to use a condom to protect yourself, you will now need to protect the condom. The oil used in the genital area will make the rubber deteriorate and hence unreliable, so you need to wash prior to having sex.

Maintenance

Once shaven you'll do yourself a big favor by making it a habit to shave daily. That way maintenance will be easy and a relatively simple job. It's entirely possible that your skin will need to adjust to the regular shaving and the area may be irritated for awhile. Once accustomed, the skin will adapt to the "abuse" and the irritation will go away. Use creams or oil daily and always be generous with water and shaving cream.

Oh, before we forget: your LadyShave or a male electric razor are NOT suitable for use in the pubic area. Not good for you and not good for your shaver either.

Besides razor shaving there are of course other options. So here we go.

• Hair removal creams - Not all hair removal products are suitable for use in the genital area. Most of them are simply too aggressive. A mild form, like Veet Mild, may do the trick but not all women can handle that and will show allergic reactions in the genital area. If you have no problem with hair removal creams in other areas, you may want to give it a try. The main advantage is that it requires less intensive maintenance.

Always test hair removal products on a harmless spot, to check for possible allergic reactions. The inside of the elbow is a good spot to test. If your skin turns red or if the spot stays itchy longer than it should (most hair removal products will cause an itchy feeling for ten to twenty minutes when used in a tender area), don't use it in the genital area.

After using a hair removal cream in the genital area, wash generously, using lots and lots of warm water and apply aftercare products or baby oil. Again, you'll need to care for the now soft skin daily.

Other hair removal products, such as waxing, are not suitable unless you're a real pain freak. Some women have had good experiences with a new product called Epil Stop, but again, the results are determined individually. Epil Stop is a semi-permanent hair removal cream. The effect will last longer than other hair removal products and eventually the hair is supposed to stop growing entirely, but that will not always be true for everybody.

• Electrolysis - Electrolysis is a permanent form of hair removal through - very mild - electric shocks. The method itself is totally safe but has various disadvantages.

First of all, there are different methods: one - done in salons only - is to use a needle shaped device that is put into the follicle and will kill the hair root there. The other is a pincer that grabs an individual hair and sends a very mild shock through it. The effectiveness of the method is individually determined but there is a huge price difference. A professional salon treatment (done in a series of treatments) is expensive and may have to be repeated several times. Buying a personal device yourself is a lot cheaper and if you're looking for (semi) permanent removal you may want to opt for the latter first, simply for financial reasons.

It's hard to give a good cost estimate when it comes to salon electrolysis, simply because different salons have different prices. However, don't be surprised if the entire treatment costs well over a thousand dollars. The advantage of course is that you can do it in sessions, hence you do not have to come up with the entire amount up front. Good advice if you're planning electrolysis is first of all check out a few different salons, and second, start with the bikini line first and work downward. This way you won't be stuck with a rather awkward half-bald mons.

Both methods are not completely painless (in fact the professional methods are frequently painful) and some women may need several repeat treatments before the hair growth is stopped. Also, it may lead to red irritation spots that will last for a long time.

Electrolysis requires pre- and aftercare. If you're planning to opt for a salon treatment, ask about creams that help reduce the pain and that will make the hair softer, hence easier to remove. Good aftercare after each treatment will help the healing process of the skin. Ask the salon about aftercare. It's important.

• Pulling - If you have a patient dominant, pulling the hair out one by one certainly is an option, but be aware that it will take several sessions and that it's not exactly painless.

• Fun designs - Especially if this is your first time, you may want to think about trying a "design shave," i.e. not a full genital shave but instead just something creative, such as leaving a single top to bottom streak or a small triangle. It really isn't that difficult to do and can be a lot of fun.

Male genitals - shaving differences

As we said, what applies to women largely applies to men as well. That goes for methods too, although very few men will opt for electrolysis, mainly due to the sensitivity of the scrotum (the penis doesn't really care). It's not impossible, just a bit more painful and the process takes a lot longer, hence will be more expensive too.

• Razor shaving male genitals - Shaving the male genital area is a LOT more work and difficult, especially if you've never done it before. It might take you up to an hour to do it the first time. You need a special razor (the male version of the Wilkinson Sword again is your best bet) and either a female or very mild shaving cream. Don't be unnecessarily "macho" and make sure you invest in aftercare. And no, don't try using your electric razor. It won't work and it WILL hurt.

The easiest way to shave your scrotum is to start at the bottom. Pull up everything with one hand and start shaving from in between your legs upward. Be very careful around the center of the scrotum, since your skin is exceptionally tender there. Next do both sides and finally concentrate on the top of your scrotum, preferably before working on and above your penis. By doing it this way you'll have the most difficult parts done first. (Note: men, same as women, will be wise to make the shaving process a daily task, which will keep maintenance a lot simpler.)

Worth considering: most men - as opposed to women - will have a lot less trouble using a mild hair removal product such as Veet Mild.

Two more hints for everyone

DON'T try coloring your pubic hair. Most of the time it won't work very well anyway and it can also be unhealthy. If you want a 'color-for-the-night,' try using hair mascara or glitter instead.

You can make your pubic hair softer by using conditioner in the same way you would use a conditioner for your head hair. This is worth doing for at least a week or two before your first shave.