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Chastity Today... A Unique Experience: Chastity devices can bring something truly unique to any relationship. Eroticism becomes enriched with the delights and frustrations of orgasm denial, of teasing and of tormenting. Keyholders discover the empowerment and intricacies of control. While the chaste man learns that masturbation does not equate to sexual enjoyment and fulfillment, and he learns the "gift of orgasm". Formation of the Fantasy: Chastity belts and devices have long formed part of human sexual fantasy and desire, perhaps gaining popularity during the Victorian era with myths of Medieval Lords and Knights riding off to fight in the crusades whilst leaving their ladies at home locked in a chastity belt. At this time the fantasy was usually based around the dominant male and the chaste submissive female, but over the last 50 or so years this has changed. During Victoria's reign there was a strong religious focus on chastity and purity resulting in an explosion in the production of chastity devices for men in both Europe and America. The intention of these devices was to prevent masturbation. As the use of these devices slowly gained popularity, so the male fantasy of chastity grew. The vast majority of chastity belts and devices produced and sold around the world today are designed for men, and it is estimated that of all chastity belt wearers as much as 90% of them are male. (Our own survey carried out between July 2003 and July 2004 resulted in just 1% of respondents being female wearers, this figure is probably in part due to Chastity UK having more male visitors than female). Today's Society: Within today's fast moving society our Western culture teaches us from a very young age that to succeed in life we must strive for gratification, be the best, be the quickest, aim high, and win at all costs. But most men would agree that when it comes to orgasm more, sooner or faster ejaculations does not necessarily mean greater sexual enjoyment. This is something which regular wears of chastity devices would readily agree with. The Gift of Orgasm: Men locked in chastity report that although they have far fewer orgasms than the "average" male, those which they do have are more intense, more fulfilling and of a much better quality than they previously experienced. And so a chaste man learns to appreciate his orgasms more as he learn the very gift of each permitted orgasm. Male chastity is not merely concerned with your wife controlling your sexual activity, but whether or not she will grant you permission to orgasm for her. Masturbation: Male Chastity is not simply about being "Chaste" or "faithful" to a lover, it is also concerned with not masturbating, and saving that energy for higher things. In terms of chastity, masturbation is not the "gift of orgasm" it is a solitary act, to please and arouse oneself. The energy and effort expelled during self masturbation should be diverted to paying attention to your keyholder, remember that a chaste male within a loving relationship is saving himself for his Mistress, and that includes his soul, his body, his mind and the spiritual energy potential within him. The above statement is not implying that masturbation in general is wrong, it is how young people learn about their sexual selves, how young adults practice for the real thing. Moderate masturbation is both normal and healthy it can relieve stress and be a wonderful accompaniment to fantasy. However, in terms of a chastity lifestyle masturbation can be viewed as a selfish, solitary act, which if practiced excessively could become an addictive solution to the stress of our ever demanding work and life commitments. Masturbation could become a distraction from life's problems, and will mean that energy used for self pleasure could be better used elsewhere in your life, primarily on activities to please your keyholder and make her life easier. Tantric Teachings & Chastity: Early Tantric writings have many similarities to today's chastity lifestyle. The relationship between the chaste male and his keyholder are very close to customs of Tantrism which were formed around the belief that women possessed a higher level of spiritual energy than men, and that men could only hope to attain this through a loving, sexual and emotional relationship with a woman. This meant that the frequency of intercourse and male orgasm was controlled by the woman, and that she should be pleased by him, before he would be permitted orgasm. Tantric teachings tell us that the feeling of being drained after orgasm is a loss in spiritual energy, and that a man should store up his vital fluids rather than expending his energy in ejaculation. The similarities are that key holders control their chaste male, he needs to first please his lover, and bring her to orgasmic ecstasy many times before he is granted release. He needs to learn that his key holder's sexual desires and pleasures are also his needs and pleasures. He will learn to experience sexual ecstasy without the need for frequent ejaculations and orgasms. He will learn that penetration is not essential to please his lady, and his skills of oral servitude will vastly improve whilst he is locked within a chastity device. Today's Chastity Lifestyles: Male chastity today fits more commonly in to a healthy loving and sexual relationship than into the world of BDSM and leather clad dominatrix, and it works best if the following 5 elements are part of that relationship:
Male chastity today is something unique to each individual man and his relationship. In general no one style of chastity is better than any other, it is what is best for you and your wife. With the increased interest in the wonders of male chastity the internet has exploded with information, there are many stories of men who remain in their chastity devices for many months at a time without any release, in some cases years (Our own survey of 2003 - 2004 had one respondent stating that he had been locked up for 8 years without any release). However, these "facts" and stories are more likely to be based on fantasy. There are very few chastity belts, tubes and cages which one would be able to wear for such a long period of time without a single moments release. Think about issues of cleanliness and health. Within some loving relationships the husband is kept in chastity by his wife as part of their lifestyle, he will be locked in for a period of weeks and released when she demands, or when she wants to feel him inside her. It is not uncommon in relationships where the wife has introduced her husband to male chastity that he will remain locked in for periods of 6 months or so, of course being released only for reasons of hygiene and then locked in again. Sometimes the male will be required to wear a strap-on dildo to pleasure his lover, while he is denied. There are even some MCDs with attachments specifically designed for this purpose to ensure that the man feels very little sensation. Just because a man is locked in a chastity device does not mean that he should not initiate sex. Many chaste men are still expected by their dominant wife and keyholder to "make the first move". Some keyholders require that the chaste male should masturbate himself to orgasm before being locked up again. Others do not. Some couples will use chastity as an extension of BDSM, and again this does not appeal to others. To some the idea of being cockholded is an overwhelming desire. In some relationships the partners will have a chastity contract, signed and agreed by both which clearly sets out what is expected of the chaste male, the slave, as well as the responsibilities of the key holder. Chastity belts and devices also fit well into D/s relationships as a tool of female supremacy to be used occasionally. Finally the chastity fantasy is a desire of many single men. The eroticism of having your penis enslaved, held captive and of being denied orgasm is an overwhelming sensation. As mentioned at the beginning of this page the use of chastity belts and devices can bring something very special to your life whether you are single or in a relationship. The very thought of such intimate control of your masculinity and your cock can be the most highly erotic way of life, fantasy, desire or need. © Elizabeth Steven Chastity UK |
