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The Official Water Sports Training Manual
By Unknown Author
INTRODUCTION
Water sports is a slang term for the practice of passing
bladder fluid in order to enhance sexual intimacy, or in
other words, erotic peeing. The medical term for this is
urolagnia or urophilia. Posts frequently appear on the
alt.sex.fetish.watersports
in which this practice is a part of dominance and submission
games. This manual is not about that. Other posts appear in
which total strangers meet and go off to some private
location to pee on each other. This manual is not about that
either. What it is about is the sharing of something
intimate and personal between individuals who are
emotionally bonded and trust each other, and who seek to
deepen their bond and their trust with this special token of
their love. Coverage will span the mildest to the most
intimate practices.
How long has it been since you peed in the shower or bath?
I'll bet for most of you reading, it's been less than a
month, and for most of the rest of you, less than six
months. For some it is as regular a part of bathing as
soaping the washcloth. And why did you do it? Couldn't hold
it till you got out? Unlikely. You did it because it felt
good. It feels good just to relax and without the worry of
finding a suitable receptacle or undoing clothing just to
close your eyes feel that little tingle passing through your
lovemaking flesh. And there's no mess to clean. And admit
this also, at least to yourself. Sometime -- probably more
than once -- when you've been standing waist deep in the
ocean or a lake, or even a swimming pool, haven't you
enjoyed the warmth of your own fluids seeping through your
swimsuit? Learning to amplify and share the excitement
connected such simple joys in spite of cultural taboos
against them, overcoming our baseless beliefs in those
taboos, and adopting practical methods for engaging our
lovers in this joy -- that is what this manual is about.
Please note that I write this from the point of view of a
heterosexual man. In what follows, I can only comment on
pleasures I've shared with my lover. I will do my best to
deliver my thoughts on the subject with as wide an audience
in mind as possible, including those whose sexuality is
different from my own. If you feel I have misrepresented or
slighted your sexual group, or if you have something to
offer from a point of view I am unable to write about,
please let me hear from you. In fact, anything you might
care to add I will look at seriously.
0.5 TOPICS
-
Nomeclature
-
Why Do It?
-
Playing Fair
-
What's In It?
-
What About Safe Sex?
-
How Can I Touch That Stuff? (and some unmessy activities)
-
How To Ask For It?
-
What About The Smell? (Dilution)
-
What About The Mess? (and other enviromental concerns)
-
How Do We Get Intimate?
1. NOMENCLATURE
Throughout this manual, I will use the word "lingam" for
penis and "yoni" for vulva or vagina. These are eastern
words that roughly mean wand of light and sacred temple
respectively. Not that "penis" and "vulva" aren't perfectly
good words. Both come from Latin. Penis is from the same
root as pendulum and peninsula, and suggests something that
hangs. Vulva means a covering or sack (and in my opinion has
an especially sexy sound to it). Unfortunately, the Latin
words sound clinical. It is not the fault of the words, but
the fault of western attitudes toward the body parts --
attitudes that produce vulgar and demeaning words like cock,
prick, pussy, and cunt (incidentally, "cunt" is also from
Latin). Because the emotions attached to such words are
negative, we assume that a nonnegative word for a sex organ
must be devoid of emotion.
The eastern words carry with them a sense of respect for our
bodies and remind us to look at them as sacred. Every part
of your body is exquisitely made, and your lingam or yoni is
privileged to be your body's entry and exit point for the
passing of sexual energy. I had the good fortune once to
tour an exhibit of Buddhist religious art. Many of the
paintings and sculptures showed human sex organs rendered
unabashedly and in the most sensuous and glorious ways
(unlike, for example, classical Greek sculpture in which the
male organs are diminished and the female effaced of their
detail). Although I know little about Buddhist culture, it
was clear that these people have found that spirituality and
sexuality are sister emotions, and that the appendages for
experiencing one find employment in the other. When we begin
to think of our flesh in this way rather than as the soiled
currency of sexual commerce, we take a step toward spiritual
sex a step beyond just plain fucking, sucking, and jerking
off.
I will often be representing a person's urine stream as his
or her spring, or fountain. Just as rainwater that falls on
a mountain and bubbles forth from a spring at the mountain's
foot carries with it some of the essence of the mountain, so
does the water that passes through us. That is because, not
only does it come from deep within our bodies, it comes from
every part of the body. Urine is filtered from blood, and is
a part of our blood only a short time before it passes from
our loins. Blood flows to all points inside us, including
whatever the secret places in which our spirits reside.
Urine is what's left after our blood has nurtured our sacred
selves. It contains the sweat of our souls. And I don't
think it was a coincidence or a divine joke that The Creator
chose to connect our lingams and yonis with our personal
fountains.
Back to Topics
2. WHY DO IT?
Why would you want to come into contact with your lover's
urine, and why would your lover want to come into contact
with yours? Urine is waste, isn't it?
If you are in love and that love has blossomed into a sexual
relationship, then you are in love with your lover's spirit
and body. You love every part of that person. And you hold
your lover's lingam or yoni in special awe. It is an altar
for your worship -- the bringer and receiver of the greatest
of joys you can share together. When you close your eyes,
you sometimes see your partner's loins in your mind's eye,
touch them with your mind's fingertips, smell them with your
mind's nose, taste them with your mind's tongue. Now if only
you could get past that time many years ago when somebody
told you, "No child -- that's dirty!"
And why do we accept this attitude that our lingams and
yonis are dirty (and don't deny that at some level that
attitude has infiltrated you)? Part of it is that most
cultures of the world choose to hide those parts from public
view. But that doesn't make them dirty. It only makes them
private. The other reason is that our urine springs from
there. And we must deposit our urine away from where we eat
and sleep. Why? Because urine exposed to the microorganisms
of the environment soon emits ammonia, and ammonia is nasty.
But food left exposed turns into nasty stuff too, and food
certainly isn't dirty.
Urine also has a peculiar smell that we seem to
instinctively shrink from. That response is in the interest
of our survival. Our bodies balance our dissolved minerals
by eliminating excesses. We also need to rid ourselves of a
compound called urea (urea, incidentally is in no way
responsible for the smell and has a cool, pleasant taste to
it). We instinctively know from the odor that, no matter how
thirsty we are, drinking urine will render our elimination
strategy useless.
None of these things make urine dirty. It is nearly sterile
when it leaves our bodies, and, barring our having consumed
something toxic, it contains no toxins. It has, in fact,
been used as disinfectant for wounds during war time. It is
most certainly cleaner than that bacteria farms we grow in
our mouths. And as for the smell, we shall see later on that
there are simple ways to minimize it, along with the
dissolved minerals and urea.
What I've said so far are reasons you should not recoil as
much as perhaps you do from contact with urine. Nothing so
far has been toward why you might like to seek it. So let's
try that. First, water is fun to play with and play in. Sex
is fun too. Why not combine them? Surely you and you lover
have splashed each other in the bath or while swimming and
enjoyed it -- perhaps even worked yourselves into sexual
excitement doing it. Wet lovemaking is the same thing, but
with a splashing more directly connected to your bodies.
If your lover is a woman, your love for her yoni is not just
for its flesh, but also for the wonderful secretions that
flow from it whenever she is aroused. Even her menstral
fluids, though messy, are a part of her and exciting in
their own way. If your lover is a man, your love for his
lingam includes loving his semen, and wanting it to contact
you and become part of you.
Your love for your lover's yoni or lingam can also include a
fascination with the one function she or he has been using
it for since birth. If your lover is a woman, picture her
yoni with a urine stream passing from it. If your lover is a
man, picture his lingam in the same way. Don't think about
touching yet. And don't think about its destination either.
Just picture it and think of it as a fountain of love. If
you are heterosexual, you will also sense the mystery,
wondering how it feels to your lover to issue forth the
spring in this way that is unknowable to you.
If you are a man, you know that, although the sensation of
ejaculation and the sensation of urination are very
different, the sensation of liquid passing through your
urethra is the same for both of these, and one reminds you
of the other. If you are a woman, you know that your urethra
opens among the most sexually sensitive tissues of your
body. When you are aroused, can you urinate without being
conscious of that?
Now consider that the liquid that daily pours from your
lover is warm and part of him or her and pours from that
most special of places. It contains fluid from your lover's
blood and the sweat of your lover's soul. Have you never
imagined what it would be like to feel it splashing against
your skin? And consider how satisfying emptying your own
bladder feels. You start out with an urgent full feeling,
you relax your lingam or yoni, you feel a satisfying tickle
down there, and with no effort at all you feel sated. Have
you never imagined sharing that simple pleasure with your
lover? And what about the joy of feeling your fountains mix
as they pass from each of you, then warm and tickle both
your skins?
Perhaps you are excited over such thoughts, but still don't
think you would try them. It takes mental preparation in
order to enjoy such acts as much as you might enjoy thoughts
of them. Your cultural aversion to them has been with you
all your life. It is easy to put aversions aside when you
are only thinking about the act, much harder when you're
really doing it. But if thinking about it excites you in any
way, read on.
Aversions you might have about sharing your lover's spring
are the last barriers between your genitals and your
lover's. When you have overcome it -- and you can -- it will
wash away all the hidden notions you might still have of
your partner's sex organs being dirty. Joining in embrace
and flowing in each other's arms will seem as natural and
enjoyable a way of sharing your sexualities as anything you
may be doing now. And it will be something special between
you that few others experience.
One final note. Many of us at some time in our lives will
find ourselves having to forgive a lover for wandering into
the arms of another. These things happen. Since the sharing
of genital fountains (or any other specialized sex practice)
is something that requires an intimacy and trust developed
over time, it is unlikely that your lover will ever betray
that part of your relationship to any interloper. Your
sexual relationship will still hold something secret and
unsullied upon which you can begin the healing.
Back to Topics
3. PLAYING FAIR
Everything I have to say in this section is summarized by
the three words: respect your lover. Your lover wants to
please you. You ought never put your lover in a situation
where he or she must choose between pleasing you and
avoiding something he or she finds disturbing. Any sex
practice against which taboos exist is likely to be more
difficult for one partner to accept than the other. Go slow.
Allow your partner to become comfortable with easy things
first. Move on step by step. If your lover balks at
something, accept it and don't apply pressure. The situation
may turn in your favor by itself someday. And even if it
doesn't, you will still have the one thing that is most
important.
Don't ever surprise your lover by doing something new you
haven't talked about first. Trust means your lover knowing
what to expect from you.
Some of the activities discussed later on involve both
preparation and clean up (in particular laundry). Share
these tasks with your lover, or even offer to do all of
them. For example, if you don't have your own laundry
machine, your partner might feel embarassed bringing the
laundry resulting from your frolicking into a public
laundrymat. Offer to perform the job yourself.
And this next rule is especially important. Unless both of
you explicitly agree that telling is okay and unless you
both want the world to know about your sexual tastes, don't
reveal to anybody -- not friends, not relatives, nobody --
what you've been up to. Remember, erotic peeing is not going
to be on your lover's clergyman's list of sanctioned sex
acts any time soon. Promise your lover not to tell. And
don't feel shy about asking your lover to promise the same.
Nothing builds trust between lovers better than a shared
secret. Nothing kills trust faster than a breach of
confidence. Keep your secrets secret.
And say, "I love you," often.
Back to Topics
4. WHAT'S IN IT?
Urine is mostly water. Besides that, it contains the
following:
-
Soluble minerals in excess of your body's needs, mostly
salt, but with some magnesium, calcium, potassium, and
phosphate.
-
Nitrogenous material, primarily urea. Also present is a more
complex compound called creatinine, which I believe is
responsible for the color and odor. These substances are
nontoxic. There is also a small amount of uric acid and an
even smaller amount of ammonia. Neither of these is present
in enough concentration to do any harm.
-
Water-soluble stuff your body needs but is unable to
retain. This includes water-soluble vitamins like C and
B-complex. If you take large amounts of vitamin supplements,
you increase the concentration of these in your urine.
-
Food components that, though nontoxic, are of no use. These
include various natural and artificial flavoring and
coloring agents. At least some of the aspartame (NutraSweet)
you consume is passed (the resulting sweetness can be a
turn-on for some folks). You may also have noticed that if
you eat beets, the red coloring is passed. If you consume a
large amount of grapefruit, your urine will smell like
grapefruit. There is a nontoxic artificial dye called
methylene blue that is passed unchanged, for those who like
to pee in color. There are plenty more examples.
-
Degradation products of food compounds. These are also
nontoxic. The best known example is what happens when you
eat asparagus. Your liver converts sulphur compounds in the
asparagus to methylthiol, (a water-soluble gas) which is
passed. Methylthiol is not toxic in the quantities present
in urine (that quantity being very small), but it is one of
the smelliest compounds known. The human nose can detect it
in concentrations of much less than one part per million in
air.
-
Toxins that you consumed, or their degradation products. The
best example of one of these is alcohol. Alcohol is so
water-soluble that your body is powerless to prevent it (or
its degradation product, a compound called acetaldehyde)
from diffusing through all your tissues. It will be present
in your urine in the same concentration it is in your blood.
Caffeine and some recreational drugs are other things that
may be present in your urine if you consume them first.
-
Small quantities of blood protein.
-
Stuffed off cells and mucous from your bladder and urethra
linings.
-
In males, bits of semen, especially after sexual activity.
-
Trace quantities of hormones, including sex hormones.
-
Urine should not contain sugar (glucose) in any but minute
amounts. If someone's urine is discernably sweet, barring
his or her having consumed an artificial sweetener, that
person ought to see a doctor. Diabetes is no joke (and the
doctor is the one person that you CAN tell that you or your
lover discovered sugar in the urine by taste. Doctors have
heard it all, and they don't tell).
-
Urine should not contain blood or puss. Again, if it does,
see a doctor.
Back to Topics
5. WHAT ABOUT SAFE SEX
A word here about safe sex is in order. Many of the
activities described later on involve, in the parlance of
health officials, "exchange of bodily fluids." If one of the
partners is infected with a sexually transmitted disease,
the other risks infection as a result. None of the
activities are any more risky than unprotected straight
lovemaking. Still, that means that you should consider these
activities only within the confines of a mutually monogamous
relationship in which both partners are certain of the
health of the other.
One other important item. Don't go inserting foreign objects
or body parts into anybody's urinary system. The risk of
infection and injury is just too great. Consider this
particular orifice to be a one way street.
Back to Topics
6. HOW CAN I TOUCH THAT STUFF? (and some unmessy activities)
I mentioned before that our bias against drinking urine has
a biological basis. But our bias against touching it is
purely cultural. There are plenty of cultures in which
touching of urine is part of some practical or cosmetic
activity. There are peoples, for example, in equatorial
Africa who use urine together with clay and ashes to form a
paste they apply to their skins that prevents insects from
biting. Before certain arctic cultures were exposed to
European ways, many used urine for personal washing,
especially in the winter when it is too cold to bare your
genitals outdoors and when liquid water is precious. Even in
the U.S., during the Civil War, Confederate women collected
their urine and processed it into potassium nitrate for the
war effort. I'm sure that after a few initial wrinkling of
noses, this activity became routine to these women, and
ceased to disgust them.
The strangest urine use I've heard of was practiced in
pre-Christian northern Europe, where elder males consumed a
drink made from the mushroom, Amanita muscara. This
particular mushroom contains a psychoactive drug which is
passed, unaltered, in the urine. More junior members of the
group gathered and drank the urine of those who consumed the
original drink, and got high also. To anybody thinking
trying this themselves, I most strongly caution against it.
Besides the questionable wisdom of consuming psychoactive
drugs, there is the fact that Amanita muscara is toxic and
causes damage to your system. There is also the danger of
misidentifying the mushroom. Some species of Amanita will
put you in the morgue.
So you still feel a little strange about touching pee?
Next time you're alone in the shower, go ahead and pee, but
hold your hand in the stream. Revel in how warm and
touchable it really is. Feel the gentle insistence of the
stream splashing against your skin. And remember, everything
in urine is water-soluble and washes completely away as
soon as the shower water flows over it. If the smell bothers
you, try having a big drink about an hour before you shower,
or shower at the time of day that your urine is normally
most dilute (we'll talk extensively about dilution later
on).
Now ask your lover to pee in the shower. Your lover will
probably agree to this easily, since it is so harmless. Hold
your hand in your lover's stream. Revel your lover's warmth.
Tell your lover how good it feels. Showering together is
fun. Do it often. Touch your lover's wet body and encourage
your lover to do the same to you. And do a lot of kissing
and cuddling of lingam and yoni. Get used to what they are
like when they are wet. Use cool water whenever weather
permits so that your lover's spring will feel even warmer by
contrast.
When you are comfortable doing those things, try the same
exercises but with the shower turned off. As soon as you're
done, turn the water on and wash off. As you become less
inhibited, try holding your hand right against your or your
lovers lingam or yoni as the stream flows. Smear it over the
genital area. Direct it down the thighs.
When you and your lover are comfortable touching each
other's streams, try lying down in the shower or bath
between your lover's legs and let your lover pee on your
tummy or on your lingam or yoni. Some folks experience a
nearly instantaneous orgasm the first time they feel their
lovers' stream on their genitals. If this happens to you,
you won't have to ask you lover to change places. He or she
will likely volunteer.
Here's another fun exercise. Next time you're at the beach
with your lover, stand waist deep in the water, embrace, and
then both of you let flow. The warmth feels good in the cool
water, doesn't it? And there is the added excitement of
strangers being present but their not knowing what's going
on.
Another wonderful situation is the next time you and your
lover are caught together outdoors in a rainstorm, either
intentionally or otherwise. As long as lightning is not a
danger, this is a romantic and titillating situation. You
will probably hug and cuddle a lot just for warmth. Since
your clothing is likely to be so wet that there is no danger
of forming an embarrassing stain in the crotch, feel free to
pee in your clothing as the spirit moves you. Try it while
you are embracing, or place your lovers hand on your crotch
as you do. If privacy permits, try placing your lovers hand
inside your clothing as you do. Ask your lover to do the
same for you. Although a man usually has a hard time
maintaining a stream while his lingam is being erotically
stroked, women do not suffer the same syndrome. Ask her to
pee while you stroke her yoni the way she likes it during
normal lovemaking.
And, in your ordinary home life, take
turns watching each other pee. Be creative in the
positions you choose to pee in. Both men and women can
still hit the pot in unorthodox positions. If you are in
the woods, accompany each other when nature calls. Don't
hide it from your lover, make a show of it. Watching a
woman pee is an especially strong turn on for many men
(a tidbit of knowledge of which prostitutes have always
been aware -- they are known to pee publicly to catch
the eye of potential customers).
Even if you never go beyond the activities in this
section, they're still exciting and can be a prelude to
passionate sex.
Back to Topics
7. HOW DO I ASK FOR IT?
At this point, you may think you could be completely
uninhibited with the thought of peeing with your lover,
but you don't think you could ever persuade your lover
to participate. How do you broach the topic?
I can only tell you what worked for me. Pick an intimate
but relaxed moment. Begin the conversation by talking
about how much you enjoy touching your lover. Tell your
lover about the parts of his or her body you find
beautiful and delicious to touch. Do a little touching.
Encourage talk about fantasies and dreams. Try to get
your lover to reveal one of his or her own secret
fantasies. Whatever your lover's fantasy might be, try
to find something exciting in it. If you genuinely find
it exciting, let your lover know.
Explain to your lover how much you love his or her
lingam or yoni, how sometimes you focus on it and can't
think of anything else. This moment would be a good time
to kiss it or lick it or suck it or all of the above.
Tell your lover that you love everything about his or
her lingam or yoni -- that everything it does excites
you. Even the water that pours from it excites you. It
excites you because of the person it comes from. Suggest
that perhaps someday you'd like to get closer to it --
to touch it or maybe even taste it. And phrase it that
way -- perhaps someday. You don't want to be applying
pressure. If there's hesitancy, give oral sex again.
Tell your lover how much you enjoy giving oral sex. Say
that you enjoy it primarily because of who is receiving
it. Tell your lover that you enjoy it with him or her so
much you would do it even while the spring was flowing.
Whenever your lover indicates verbally or by body
language that he or she is uncomfortable with what
you're suggesting, issue a complement that is off the
subject. Hug and kiss and nibble ears. Do whatever it
takes to make your lover comfortable again. Comforting
speaks volumes louder than begging.
If you do all these things and have made no apparent
progress, put it aside for a few weeks or months, then
try the same thing again. You may have made more
progress than you thought. Your lover may just need time
to get used to the idea. Allow as much time as it takes.
Back to Topics
8. WHAT ABOUT THE SMELL? (DILUTION)
You can control the degree to which your urine smells by
controlling its concentration. Dilute urine smells less
than concentrated urine. Very dilute urine has virtually
no smell (or taste) at all. If you have a lot of
minerals in your tap water and your partner has been
drinking something with a good mineral balance, like
fruit juice, you may even find that dilute urine has a
pleasanter taste than your tap water.
One strategy for more appealing pee is to consume less
of what makes it smell. Unless you are starving, you
probably eat far more protein than you need. The excess
is metabolized (burned for energy). The odor and color
of urine comes from the byproducts of protein
metabolism. If you cut down on foods with high
concentrations of protein, you reduce the odor. Such
foods are meat, fish, dairy, and eggs. Even some
vegetables have high protein concentrations -- peas,
beans, lentils, and peanuts. For some, cutting down on
these foods is not an attractive option. If that is the
case with you, then concentrate on dilution.
Of course the strategy to dilute your urine is to drink
a lot of fluids (you already knew that, didn't you).
Healthy kidneys are very efficient, and can filter off
excess water as fast as your digestive system can absorb
it. Passing excess water through your system also has a
cleansing feeling about it.
Some more tips: You may have noticed that at some times
of the day your kidneys shed more water than at others.
Consider timing your drinking and lovemaking with your
daily rhythms. Avoid strenuous activity or spending time
in the hot sun (i.e. avoid sweating) in the hours before
your lovemaking. Also avoid salt in those hours. And
don't eat asparagus.
Of course there is the question of what to drink. Water
is good but gets boring. Here are some thoughts on other
beverages. Fruit juice tastes great and you can drink
large amounts without any negative side effects at all.
If you are planning an afternoon of lovemaking, you
might consider buying several bags of citrus fruit and
have a juicing and drinking party with your lover ahead
of time. Sports drinks like Gatorade are good too. I
have a special fondness for frozen fruit bars,
especially Popsicles. Each one is good for four to six
ounces of water. But avoid vegetable juices like tomato
juice or V8. They have too much salt. Soups also have a
lot of salt. Diet soda is a good drink for the purpose,
but some of them contain caffeine (and remember that the
sweetener will sweeten your urine). I advise against a
syrupy drink like Coca-Cola. In the quantities you need
to drink it, it's too big a sugar hit. The sugar will
make you retain some of the water, besides making you
sleepy and sluggish.
On the question of caffeine, it is a mild diuretic and
to some it is also a mild aphrodisiac. Too much will
make you jittery, though, especially if you're not used
to it. If you are a coffee drinker, think about how many
cups of coffee you can normally tolerate before the
caffeine makes you uncomfortable. Don't exceed that
amount. For reference, three cans of Diet Pepsi contain
about the same amount of caffeine as one cup of coffee.
Diet Pepsi is typical of caffeinated sodas. If you drink
coffee to dilute your urine, switch to decaf after a few
cups.
Then there is the question of alcohol. If you are going
to consume an alcoholic beverage to dilute your urine,
beer is best because it is already dilute. A small
amount of alcohol can be useful for dissolving
inhibitions over what you plan to do. But large amounts
of alcohol detract from the sexual pleasure and ability.
After several beers, you might want to switch to a soft
drink. If you love beer, you might consider a
nonalcoholic brew for filling up on.
And how much fluid should you drink? I like to drink a
lot and have my lover do the same. During lovemaking, I
don't want to worry about fluid economy. I want to feel
free to let it out whenever fancy strikes me, knowing
that more is soon to come. If you consume three liters
(about 96 ounces), you will begin to feel the urge in
about 45 minutes, and thereafter every 15 to 20 minutes
for several hours. That, of course, is a lot to drink
all at once. So instead, drink a 12 ounce can every 5 or
10 minutes. And once things begin to flow, you can
continue drinking during your lovemaking hours to
prolong the fun.
If you drink this much fluid, your urine will smell and
taste like water, though it will retain some of the
flavor of whatevery you are drinking. If your lover's
urine is this dilute and you choose to drink it, it can
do no harm.
If you want to try something really exotic, have you or
your partner drink a little cologne (don't drink oil
based perfumes, though) and see what that does to your
urine. Since the cologne manufacturers know that there
are alcoholics who are most certainly going to drink
this stuff, colognes are made to be nontoxic (but do
check the label first for any warnings). Keep in mind
that colognes contain alcohol, and that they are more
expensive than your average drink.
One final note. Don't use any strong diuretic drugs as
part of your sex play. They can make you feel dried out
and uncomfortable.
Back to Topics
9. WHAT ABOUT THE MESS? (and other environmental concerns)
Now that you know how harmless your body's fountain is,
the only thing left to say against wet loving is that
when it's over, it's not really over. You're still left
with a mess to clean up.
The easiest response to this is simply to restrict
yourself to activities that don't leave a mess. These
would include things you do in the shower or bath, in
the privacy of your own swimming pool deck, or when you
find yourselves on a deserted beach or lakeshore. In
these situations, you can get naked, have a fun time,
wash off, get dressed, and let nature or household
plumbing dispose of what you've produced.
Of course, bathrooms are not the most comfortable places
for lovemaking, and beach sand can turn erotic caresses
into agony. The best place for lovemaking is still a
bed. But if between the two of you, your lovemaking is
going to leave six liters of liquid in your mattress,
you're likely to think twice before turning on the tap
in bed.
With a little preparation, though, you can have your fun
and still sleep in a dry bed. Go to the discount store
and buy several plastic shower curtains. Strip your bed,
and lay the shower curtains over the mattress. If you
have a king sized mattress, you might consider two
layers of shower curtains with the seams displaced from
each other. Be sure to lap any seams. Now get some old
towels or bath mats. Put these down in the places on the
mattress where you think you or your lover's weight will
be most often. They will prevent puddling. Now make the
bed over top of the whole affair, but leave off the top
sheet and the blanket. Take the pillows out of the
pillow cases and slip them into plastic garbage bags.
Then put the pillow cases on over that.
And be sure to have another set of dry sheets and pillow
cases handy for when you are done. Also, keep a few
plastic garbage bags handy for toting wet laundry in
later on.
Now your are ready to be as wet as you like and still be
able to dry your bed out quickly and easily.
There is one more thing you must consider before
starting your wet love in bed. That is temperature and
humidity. It's no fun to be cold. In the bath or the
shower, you can control the temperature of the water to
stay comfortable. In bed, you will have no covers, and
you are likely to be wet. If you live in a cold climate,
you will either have to restrict this fun to summertime,
or you will have to burn some extra heating oil. You
will want the air temperature to be at least 80 degrees
Fahrenheit (27 degrees C). Consider buying an electric
space heater if you don't want to heat the whole house
this warm. If it is cold outside, you will also want to
use a humidifier or vaporizer to moisten the air
(otherwise you will be the ones moistening the air, with
the attendant loss of body heat).
Also, if it is TOO hot and humid in your bedroom, it can
take away from your pleasure as well. Your lover's warm
stream will just seem hot. A ceiling fan over the bed
can be most helpful here -- also, a basin of cool water
that you can splash each other with from time to time to
cool off. Of course the best thing is an air
conditioner. But keep it on low, lest you make
yourselves too cold.
If you use any electrical aids (vibrators and the like),
make sure they are intended for sexplay. They are likely
to get just as wet as everything else. Genuine sex
appliances are designed to deal with being wet. Use
battery powered equipment exclusively -- never any that
get its juice from the wall.
Back to Topics
10. HOW DO WE GET INTIMATE?
So you skipped right to this section, didn't you? It's
okay, as long as you read the rest sometime. So you want
to know what fun things you can do using your lingams
and yonis as water toys. Well, in the section, HOW CAN I
TOUCH THAT STUFF? (and some unmessy activities), we've
already discussed a few things you can do in the bath,
shower, or in a private spot outdoors. Here are some
activities you can do in bed as well. All of them work
best if your kidneys have plenty to work with, so drink
up first. Note also that males may have to ejaculate
once before their sexual tension relaxes enough for
their streams flow freely.
Playing Doctor
Simply sit with facing each other with legs apart. When
either of you gets the urge, simply pee. The other gets
to watch and touch. Pretending to be children again adds
a fun twist to this game.
Wet Massage
You will need some KY jelly or equivalent for this. Have
your lover lie face down (or face up if you want to
massage the front) on the bed. Kneel straddling your
lover over the small of the back. Smear a little KY
jelly on your hands. Now pee onto your lover's back and
begin rubbing it in.AddmoreKYjellyasneededtokeep
everything slippery (you may not need that much since
your pee is naturally slipperier than water). Be mobile.
Work your stream up and down your lover's back and neck,
and over your lover's buns. Use your lover's favorite
massage techniques.
This works best when you learn to control your stream,
that is to be able to shut it off at will. Then you can
pee a little and rub a lot, then pee some more and rub
some more. This activity, like most of the rest, is fun
whether you are the giver or the receiver.
Wet Cuddles
Just wetting the bed is exciting the first time you do
it on purpose. Doing it while you and your lover are
cuddling is a special delight. Unlike some sex acts,
naked cuddling is something you can keep up for a long
time and be relaxed the whole time. Spoon-style
cuddling, with the man behind, is best suited for
enjoying wetness. Just lie there together, and whenever
one or both of you feels the urge, let it flow. Your
lingam and yoni are positioned perfectly to feel the
gentle touch that the other's fountain brings you.
For the more adventurous, try lying on your sides,
facing each other sixty-nine style. Each of you cuddles
and nuzzles the other's genitals. Again, whenever your
bladder sends you the signal, relax and respond to it.
Whenever your lover's stream splashes on your face,
enjoy it and nuzzle even more.
Golden Shower
This is simply where one partner kneels, sit, or lies
down and the other pees all over him or her. Again,
either position is enjoyable. If you like dominance and
submission fantasies, this activity plays into them
nicely. It's also fun to kiss your lover's lingam or
yoni on the spot where the cascade emerges.
A Pissing Contest
Just for laughs (and why should love be unfunny?), try
competing with your lover for distance, height, or
accuracy. And men, be ready for defeat. Once women
figure out some simple techniques, you will find they
hold the advantage of having simpler plumbing.
Baby Gets Clean
This is best done in the bathtub. One of you takes the
role of parent, the other the role of baby. Parent
scrubs baby with soap using his or her own fluids for
water. If the baby is completely uninhibited and the
parent has enough fluid, the parent washes the baby all
over, including head and face (watch out for soap in the
eyes). When the scrubbing is done, use the shower to
rinse off.
Cateracts of the Nile (for her)
The woman lies on her back with legs apart. The man
stands or kneels between her thighs. The man pees as
hard as he can, directing his stream onto the womans
clitoris. The man must concentrate on not becoming erect
so that his stream is as stimulating to her as he can
make it. The woman simply enjoys, touching her yoni if
she likes. You will probably want to experiment with
standing or kneeling, as different women will have
different preferences over how high the stream should
come from.
Log in the Amazon (for him)
This time the man lies on his back. The woman squats
over his lingam. She may want to stimulate him manually
before beginning the main event. When he is wonderfully
aroused and erect, she pees hard onto his lingam, moving
her stream up and down the length of his shaft. The
woman should not worry about whether or not she makes
him ejaculate this way. Either way, he is certain to
enjoy it.
A note here:
Many find that as the recipient in either
of the last two activities, the intensity is greater if
they have first shaved their pubic hair. I know that
many men have a Samson complex about their pubic hair,
but consider it anyway. The skin over your pubic bone is
deliciously sensitive, and you will only feel the
wonderment directly if you are shaven. As an aside, if
you both shave, face to face intercourse has additional
sensations that you cannot achieve otherwise. And if you
find you don't like it shaved, it grows right back.
The Fountain of Venus (for her)
There are several positional variations of this one.
I'll describe the easiest and you can take it from
there. The woman waits until her bladder reaches the
limits of comfort. She then lies on her back with her
legs apart. Her partner kneels or lies between her
thighs facing her yoni. He then begins licking her yoni
in the usual way, paying close attention to the
sensitive area just below her clitoris. The woman should
hold back her stream until Eve's rapture engulfs her. At
that point, many women have no choice and will let go
involuntarily. Her partner should keep licking, enjoying
the sound of her sighs and the sensation of her yoni
gushing onto his tongue, and perhaps drinking some if he
feels so inclined. The woman should keep peeing until
she is empty, allowing herself to come whenever she
feels moved to do so. Some women claim this is the most
intense orgasm they have ever had. This is so
stimulating for them that in the one or two days that
follow, some women will come every time they pee because
it is a reminder of this experience. Men -- you mustn't
deny your woman the joy of this act.
Watering the Oak Tree (for him)
The woman waits for her bladder to become full. The
couple prepares for intercourse in whatever ways suit
them. The man lies on his back and the woman squats over
him. She inserts his lingam into her yoni, but does not
begin pum ping.Instead,sheadjusts herself so that she is
comfortable. Then she pees. This takes some practice
because the man's lingam is applying pressure to the
woman's urethra. The woman will have to concentrate and
will have to adjust herself so that the pressure on her
urethra is minimized. Even so, she will likely have to
work hard to get a good stream. It may also mean that
she does not take her man's lingam all the way to the
hilt. But it probably doesn't matter for the man. As
soon as her stream starts in ernest, he is likely to
ejaculate immediately.
Flooding the Cave
The man's bladder must be full and he must have
ejaculated recently for this to work. The man may not be
able to maintain a full erection during this act. For
that reason, rear entry (both couples lying on their
sides, spoon-style) is recommended. This is the easiest
position in which to keep lingam inside yoni when lingam
is soft. Some KY jelly helps for inserting a less than
erect lingam. Once in, he pees inside her. This is not
easy and takes some concentration on the man's part. It
does get easier with practice. But nature resists the
man washing his own semen out of his woman's yoni. The
first few times a man tries this, he is likely to find
the drain to his bladder clamped shut. Nature seeks
pregnancy, and this is not a means to that end. If this
happens, just relax and wait. Eventually, your bladder
will be so full that it will win out.
The womans yoni may make a something of a seal around
the man's lingam. This will cause her yoni to inflate.
When it is inflated enough, the seal will begin to leak
or even gush out in sudden squirts that are enjoyable to
both partners. If she becomes uncomfortable before that,
simply insert a finger, and the liquid will escape.
The sensation is delightful for both partners. For the
woman, she feels activity inside her, and the sensation
that her man's lingam is bigger than it really is. For
the man, who may be an hour or so before he can next
ejaculate, this is a surrogate ejaculation -- he feels
the wonderful sensation of flowing into his woman. And
it lasts a lot longer than an ejaculation.
The Spitting Snake
This is the complement to the Fountain of Venus. The man
waits until his bladder is full. Then he rubs his lingam
over his partner's face. When the partner is ready, she
opens her mouth, perhaps taking the man's lingam into
her mouth. He pees as he urge dictates. She kisses the
head of his lingam and enjoys the sensation of the
stream over her lips and tongue.
Fantasies
Make up some fantasies about what you are doing. My
favorite is that I am a king threatened with
assassination. I am so fearful of being poisoned that I
will drink nothing that hasn't been filtered through my
servant girl first. Of course, its most fun to drink
right from the tap.
But I can't hope to make up fantasies for you that will
be better than your own. Use your imagination.
Self Peeing
This is the watersport equivalent to masturbation. You
may want to do it simply because you are away from your
partner and you miss the sensation of your partner's
stream on your face. Or you may do it with your partner
present for his or her entertainment.
The main concern is to make gravity work in your favor.
This means getting upside down. Lying back on your
shoulders and propping your legs and back against a wall
is the best way to accomplish this. If your partner is
present, he or she can provide support for your legs
instead of a wall. Being limber helps. With a little
effort, you can get your genitals directly above your
face.
If your back and hamstrings are limber, you can also
remain on your feet and bend down until your head is
between you legs. Men are at an advantage over women on
this one as they have more freedom to aim.
If a man's partner is present for either variation of
this, allow her the fun of aiming the stream for you.
Doing it with your Clothes On
There are a number of folks who like to wet themselves
with clothes on. Swimsuits are most convenient for this
since they are made to be worn wet and to easily pass
water through their fabric. It's fun to sit on a public
beach with your partner, drink beer, and pee it out onto
the sand with nobody wise to what's going on except you.
But you can wet ordinary clothes, and they will also
survive and look good as new with a single trip through
the laundry. Try kneeling before your standing partner,
who is clothed. Press your face to your partner's crotch
and have him or her wet the fabric.
A special turn on for many a man is to have his woman
dress, with or without panties, in a skirt or a dress,
and then pee standing up without lifting the hem. A
woman so dressed can sit on her man's lap while he is
clothed, open the valve between her legs, and drive him
wild as her liquid love soaks through his trousers.
Those crotchless panties that Fredrick's of Hollywood
sells are good for this as well.
A man might be joyously surprised to arrive home, be
asked (or commanded) at the door by his woman to kneel
down, stick his head under her dress and begin licking,
only to have his thirst slaked with her cascading
waters.
Some folks also enjoy wearing those bladder control
undergarments (i.e. adult diapers) and wetting them. It
has the advantage that you can wet them in a public
place. You can also improvise a diaper out of a towel.
And There's Plenty More
Whatever variations on wet fun you can
think of are probably ok as long as they feel good for
both partners and cause no injury. I leave you with the
same thoughts I began with. Whatever you do, remember,
sexual pleasure flows not between genitals but between
hearts. God gave us flesh that is capable of great joy.
So stay safe, play fair, and for God's sake, have fun.
Back to Topics
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