Writer's Block

Journals and Diaries

By: Mistress Norische

July 10

Mistress finally let me get a new cage for bunny, it isn't the one that I had originally wanted, it cost a little more but it is a little larger too. Bunny loves her new cage, she can spread out and lay down and with the drop pan she wont be having to sleep in the bunny balls any more.

Mistress is still nagging me about getting a job, I have told her that it bugs me when she constantly reminds me about things that I already know, but she keeps doing it, oh well, the life of a slave... I hate not being able to find a job, with all the pressure on Mistress right now I feel like I am more of a burden than a benefit. She doesn't know but I sometimes sit and cry about it, I wonder if she would be better off without me. Somehow she knows when I begin to think about this and tells me to stop, I try but it is hard to do. With all the medical bills coming in and then the taxes thing I feel so helpless, I love my Mistress but I can't help but wonder...

Mistress bought a box of needles today when we were out running errands, she got a whole box of a hundred. After we got home and put things away, I walked into the room and she had put one through the skin on her breast. I thought I was going to barf, I hate needles!!! I had to close my eyes and sit down. She took the needle out and said she was just checking the size of the needle to see if it was too big or not, it wasn't too big. I told her about my experience with needles and how I feel about them, she said that it had been a while since she had used them and that she would probably not use them on me; I hope she doesn't, I hate the damned things. Yuck!!!

Note: When Mistress's glass of tea is about half empty, it needs more ice. Also when Mistress makes that stupid sucking sound with her straw, it is a hint she needs her glass refilled. No more sandwiches for Mistress's lunch, they are getting icky before she gets her lunch break, and can't eat them, if nothing else is available, Taco Bell is always the way to go.

Above are just a few examples of what could be placed in a journal; it is a place that an individual can go to share his or her feelings without the worry of repercussions. A journal is a special place for both a submissive as well as for a Dominant; it is a doorway of communication.

Some people think a journal is strictly for the submissive, that is definitely not true. A journal allows the writer to voice their thoughts and opinions within a realm of neutrality, it is a place to write down information that may be helpful later on, a particular point of view, major events in the writer's life, funny sayings, photographs, or what ever the author wishes to place within the protective pages of the journal. The journal is also for the Dominant, to read someone's journal is to get a grasp of what the writer's thoughts are, what has impacted their life today, even the most minute thing to one person may seem like a major life altering event to another. It is an additional way that a Dominant and submissive can communicate, it opens new doors and lays down new possibilities.

A submissive may not be able to tell his or her Dominant that they are really upset about something they said or did, but they can write it in the journal. A submissive may not be able to say "I hate you, for what you said. You hurt me!" or " She will never truly understand how much I love her." to his or her Dominant, but somehow they manage to find a way to put their thoughts and emotions into words when they have the sanctity of a journal.

Each journal is a personal thing, the Dominant may require the submissive to keep a written record of all scening, to let them know what the submissive liked and disliked about the scene. The Dominant may require the submissive to write in the journal each misbehavior and the ensuing punishment. The Dominant may have the submissive write their sexual fantasies, so that with time they perhaps can explore a little and maybe make some of those fantasies into realities. The Dominant may have the submissive write things they have learned in their journal, as well as things they wish to learn more about; a journal can be an educational tool in many ways. The Dominant may have the submissive write things they want to experience, or how they feel about new experiences; a scening journal is a great benefit to both, especially in a new relationship. The Dominant may have the submissive write daily, weekly or just when he or she feels a need, it is based on what the purpose of the journal is.

I have found a journal to be extremely beneficial for all relationships, but especially so for those individuals that are in new relationships. A submissive may not know how to express him or herself well, and may feel awkward doing so, therefore a journal is the one way to give them the opportunity to say what they feel and you an opportunity to learn more about them.

As a Dominant I find myself sometimes needing a hint at what is going on inside my slave's mind, sometimes I think I understand her and find I am way off base. I think that something is basically black and white, and she somehow manages to find all shades of gray in there. When I have sat down with other Dominants and talked about journals some think it is a waste of time, that just asking questions and keeping a good line of communication is all that is required to keep a relationship running smooth. My argument to that is really simple, there will always be something that your submissive is unable to tell you, it isn't a matter of discipline or desire, it is simply that most submissives would rather say nothing than to tell their Dominant that they are wrong, or that the Dominant did something they didn't approve of. Judging the actions of your own Dominant is something that most submissives are trained not to do, they are trained to take what ever comes and ask no questions. This method may be convenient but it isn't communication. Also, when something is written down it requires a higher level of thought; the writer must go over things in their mind and analyze the situation in order to be able to make their point of view understood. The action of writing down his or her thoughts in a journal gives an emotional release, in a way that may not be available otherwise. Writing also helps a person to learn to express him or herself better and encourages them to communicate outside the journal.

One thing that must be strictly observed when it comes to journals, the journal is a safe place, nothing within the sanctity of the journal may be used against the submissive in any way. If the Dominant wants the journal to be a successful tool then they must never break that sanctity, never discuss what your submissive has discussed within the journal with anyone else, unless of course you have discussed with the submissive prior. A Dominant should never get angered, jealous, or upset over things in the journal... it is a method of communication not a means of revenge. One more thing that I will mention, never go through the journal and correct the spelling, or punctuation, or mark through things, or alter the contents in any way, if the submissive thinks that he or she is being over analyzed then sooner or later they will simply quit writing anything at all.

Communication is the key to a successful relationship, a journal is just one more way to say "I hear what you are saying, and I care."

If you have any questions or comments, my email address is Norisch1@mchsi.com