"About Bad Dates"

You know it's a bad date when...

1. You order a Double Whopper and he says, "Hey, my name ain't Rockefeller, honey!"

2. You've never heard someone speak with such passion about an ant farm.

3. He seems to know an awful lot about your shower routine.

4. Your dinner reservations are under, "Loser party of 2."

5. He's especially proud of how long he can sustain a burp.

6. Calls to tell you he'll pick you up, just as soon as the stand off with the police is over.

7. He's been on Geraldo once and Jerry Springer, twice.

8. She whispers to the waiter, "Please kill me."

9. All she talks about is how great it is working for Heidi Fleiss.

10. You catch her giving her phone number to the guy cleaning your windshield.

11. She lunges at you several times with a steak knife.

12. She keeps calling you "Bachelor Number Two."

13. "Whoa! Is it 8:15 already?"

14. She transitions the conversation by saying, "I've said enough about me. What do you think about me?"