Emotions and Senses

BDSM and slave training

The ability to express a full range of emotions indicates a high social interest.

A slave should strive to become free of defensive and deceptive emotions.

In slave training and a BDSM lifestyle relationship, in general, emotions are an important element. The way a slave, obeys, serves, and pleases her Master is directly effected by her emotions. For this reason, B.E.S.T. slave training views a slave's emotions as one of the four primary elements in training.

Emotions constitute the primary motivational system of humans. Each of the primary emotions (joy, interest, surprise, fear, anger, distress, contempt, disgust, and shame) supply their own unique kind of motivating information (Tomkins' theory of affect described by Magai and Hunziker (1993, p. 261).

Emotions are a major part of our inner lives. They range from primitive reflexes independent of our thoughts to a complex cognitive assessment of our current situation. Thus, emotions determine if we are happy or unhappy.

Emotions are caused by learned core thoughts about an event. What we think (perceive and value) about an event causes the corresponding emotional reaction to it. Humans first think, then they feel, then they act. Usually, what we think about an event is based upon past experiences related to like or similar events. The thinking is dividing into two parts before we apply an emotion to it. First we perceive it, then we value the information. After that an emotion is applied based upon our perception and value.

Below is listed several ways that emotions are expressed:

1. Act on feelings: cry when sad, communicate (in body language) her interest when attracted to someone. (These same behaviors--shouting, crying and attracting--influence her feelings too.)
2. Physiological reactions when feeling something: Blushing when embarrassed, having high blood pressure when anxious, sexual arousal when attracted. Actually psychologists do not yet know whether arousal precedes, accompanies, or follows an emotional reaction (Weiner, 1980).
3. Suppress the feelings and deny being upset or angry. Quite often people who deny their emotions think they are healthy and well adjusted, but they tend to have high blood pressure, high heart rates, an immune deficiency, high incidences of cancer (Temoshok, 1992), difficulty sleeping, and lots of aches and pains.
4. Change the situation: shout out orders like a drill sergeant when things go wrong or become charming to attract and influence someone. Note: yelling "shut up" at someone implies, but doesn't directly express your feeling, "I'm angry at you."
5. One feeling to deny or conceal another: criticism may hide attraction, crying may occur when she is mad, love may hide scared dependency or she may have one feeling in response to another feeling.
6. Blame others rather than assuming responsibility for your own feelings: "You are a selfish, mean person" instead of "I feel very hurt," "You are a lazy slob" instead of "I feel furious when you are so sloppy," "You are arrogant" instead of "I'm afraid you won't like me." Remember: you are more responsible than anyone else for your feelings. In general, no one can make you feel any way; it is usually your choice (although some emotions are impossible to control--like a startle reaction or grief following the loss of a loved one).
7. Not be aware of the true nature of your emotions, but they can still have an effect on your life. Subconscious causes emotional reaction that the conscious mind is unaware of.
8. Share your feelings with others. This involves many skills: self-disclosure, "I" statements, social skills, assertiveness, self-confidence, etc. Telling your story, as in therapy, self-help groups, or with friends, is usually healthy (as long as you share your emotions and don't just stick to the objective facts and as long as the listeners are supportive).
9. Use your feelings as a barometer of your relationships with others and your self-acceptance. Negative, unwanted feelings are a sign that something needs to be changed and that self-help is needed.

The major goal in emotional training is to align thought and emotions that will project a positive self-image of her slavery and provide motivation for proper behavior.

Emotional Privacy

Emotional privacy should not be allowed. A slave’s emotional reactions or moods can never be private from her Master and she has no right of privacy related to her inner feelings. During training, it is often necessary that emotions be changed to reflect her slavery. A slave should be asked often what she is feeling in order for her to become accustomed to revealing her feelings to her Master. Often knowing the slaves feelings, is a huge aid in training.

A feeling of helplessness in hiding emotions from her Master is necessary. Explaining the depth of what is expected of her is important. A slave should know that she has to be completely open to discussing her emotions with her Master and she reveals her feelings and thoughts to her Master more than to the closest friend she has ever known.

This openness in revealing emotions is often more difficult for her than behavioral modifications. People have private thoughts and fantasies that provide a view of their private logic. These are no longer private and sharing them with her Master is mandatory.

Note: Not normally considered a part of behavioral or cognitive techniques is the effect of the subconscious mind on emotions. Behavioral and cognitive theories deal with only the conscious processes. Hypnosis, if properly understood and administered, can deal with underlying past issues that are buried in the subconscious mind. This is usually accomplished by regression techniques. This, at times, can be a key area that must be explored for more rapid and effective changes of emotions and core thinking.

Some techniques for altering Emotions are:

• Anger-Expression (this technique can be expanded to other areas besides anger) - explaining feelings of resistance or reactance
• Anxiety-Management Training - think about and bring on unwanted feelings, then concentrate on reducing the feeling
• Hypnosis - direct suggestions and regression
• Feeling-Identification and analysis - Clarification of feelings by interpretations or open discussion (hypnosis can also be used)
• Positive reinforcement – praise, recognition and encouragement
• Success at completing goals

Some emotions that should be addressed are anger, envy, jealousy, and sadness.

Sensations

Sensations are what the body feels with the five senses: touch, taste, smell, sight, and hearing. Being aware of the sensations displayed by your slave can lead to insight into her emotions. Sensations are often the body’s reaction to emotions and can be generated in the form of pain, nervousness or headaches.

The Master may want to also undertake some sensation training to increase certain sensations or allow him to control then with commands.

Thoughts (conscious or unconscious) cause emotions that cause sensations.

Examples of techniques used to control or change sensations:

1. Focusing - examining thoughts and feelings then expressing them.
2. Hypnosis or Self-Hypnosis - to reduce stress
3. Relaxation training
4. Sensate focus training - Increasing sexual sensation feelings by focusing and following her Master’s instructions
5. Threshold training - training to hold orgasms

Sensations that should be addressed are headaches, tension and being unable to relax.

This website may offer help in altering emotions: METHODS OF CHANGING EMOTIONS