B.E.S.T. slave training

PUNISHMENT

General information - Punishment and Discipline in the BDSM lifestyle:

In the BDSM lifestyle there is usually a distinction made between punishment and discipline. B.E.S.T. slave training involves the use of both in the training of a slave.

Discipline is training employed by the Master to teach proper behavior and obedience. Discipline is described as instruction and exercise; training, whether physical, mental or moral. Generally the time spent training your slave to kneel, stand, speak and so on is defined as discipline training. It is also training to adjust attitude. One of the uses is to teach and practice proper behavior.

Punishment is correcting misbehavior. It’s a penalty imposed on the slave for wrongdoing. It’s used after the slave has displayed bad behavior to:

1. demonstrate to the slave that her Master is displeased,
2. show that the behavior was unacceptable and her actions have consequences and
3. provide reinforcement for a change to proper behavior.

Punishment focuses on behavior, intentional or not. Because behavioral modification is important; punishment can be administered to the slave if the bad behavior is unintentional. However, the method and severity of punishment may very depending on if the behavior was intentional or unintentional.

The slave may not like the consequences that her Master applies, but she accepts them because they apply to her and are for her betterment. Punishment should always aim to improve the slave's behavior.

Punishment does not always involve corporal punishment. Punishment is anything administered by the Master that is very uncomfortable to the slave for the purpose of changing behavior. It could be having the slave stand in the closet, go to bed early, restriction of privileges, ignoring her, caging, bondage, or many other forms.

Example: (ping pong ball and/or egg timer)

A ping pong ball can be used for both discipline and punishment, depending on how applied. A slave can be told to hold a ping pong ball to a wall with her nose for a period of time.

She can be placed in various positions then the Master starts an egg timer and the slave must remain in that position until the egg timer alarms. She is then given a second position to hold and the egg timer is reset. This can go as long as you wish, you can keep setting the timer and giving her new positions. Challenging positions can be used for punishment. Let your imagination be your guide. Many egg timers can be set for 30 minutes or more, if you wish to make her hold a position that long.

Punish can be the taking away of privileges; loss of the use of a computer, car, or television.

Another punish could be to have her repeatedly write out a sentence or thought on paper. This is helpful is he is not with his slave and wants to see a positive action taken by her before he gets home. He can tell her to write what she has done wrong or what she needs to do on paper several time and show him when he gets home. He can also sent her some place (another room) to write while he does something else.

In the bondage section of this website, I discuss some uses of bondage as discipline or punishment.

If the slave is a heavy masochist, then something other than corporal punishment might be warranted. It goes without saying, that punishment is not intended to be fun or provide pleasure. A slave should not be allowed to misbehave to fulfill her masochist needs and never rewarded for bad behavior. Don't let what you intend to be a punishment be a reinforcement for bad behavior. Being placed behind the couch in the living room or den for an afternoon can teach her a valuable lesson. If she makes a noise or disrupts you in any way, her time behind the couch can be extended. The use of physical bondage is not necessary, using mental bondage by instructing her to remain quite, still and out of site. In general, the more she loves pain, the less it should be routinely applied as punishment and the more care it takes in administering pain as punishment.

To enable a slave to properly serve you on a daily basis, she should have full knowledge of what behavior is expected of her. What is expected of her should be constant and clearly defined by her Master. This is why written rules, positions descriptions, and protocols are important. The importance of discipline training and communication can not be understated in the overall training process.

As I have stated in other portions of this website, not all Masters believe in using written rules, guidelines, and protocols. That of course is their decision. It is my opinion that written rules help provide a clear path for the slave and a stronger foundation for her change. I'll admit it takes more time and effort, but I believe the effort is worth it.

Punishment is a type of coercive power. Coercive power is one of the 5 forms of interpersonal power one person has over another.

Corporal Punishment in BDSM submission Training:

Corporal punishment is defined in this section as a deliberate inflection of pain used in the correct of an adult slave's misbehavior. The slave agrees as part of the correction process and healing processes that she will accept her punishment.

I divide corporal punishment into two categories; immediate and formal

Immediate punishment is usually less intense and of a much shorter duration than formal. The purpose of immediate punishment is to immediately correct the slave for an infraction that is caused by a lack of attention to detail during training or to reinforce changes in automatic responses (habits), (failure to maintain eyes down as stated in the rules).

I have often heard slaves or submissives say that the worst punishment they could receive is the knowledge that their Master is displeased with their actions and this is worse than any corporal punishment that he could administer to her.

I fully believe that a good slave or submissive will feel sorrowful for displeasing her Master and this will provide motivation to correct her behavior, but I don’t believe that this sorrow is always enough to foster future correct behavior. This is especially true when training her to change normal daily behavior (habits and routines). Just telling her that she has made a mistake is not enough to insure change when the focus is on changing habits and routines. Punishment provides motivation to change.

Immediate punishment is useful where a change in habits and routine behavior is required. Two examples are when a slave does not say "Sir", each time she is addressing her Master or maintaining "eyes down" in her Master’s presence. These are habits you want her to adopt and immediate punishment is effective when she slips during training. A behaviorist would probably call this stimuli-response type training instead of making an attempt to changing cognitive thinking.

Now, this is easier said than done. Some actions that the Master require the slave to do may require discipline training and time to completely correct. Most habits and routines require not only knowledge but lots of practice to successfully change.

If you are to live in a 24/7 Master/slave relationship, many new behaviors have to be ingrained into the slave. They have to become part of her normal daily routine. This is achieved by providing her with the knowledge of what you expect, setting goals, applying discipline and punishment, providing positive reinforcement for correct behavior and encouragement. Punishment is only one tool used in the BDSM lifestyle for slave training.

Formal punishment is for more serious violations of the rules. It‘s not a result of a change in a habit but a conscious misbehavior or a misbehavior that a reasonable slave would be expected to know.

Examples are the intentional failure to disclose important information to her Master or failure to do a particular assignment in the allotted time (after receiving instructions). These are attitude problems that cause bad behaviors. This is also an example where a slave’s sorrow for displeasing her Master may not be enough to correct behavior. She was aware of her Master’s instructions and still failed to obey. She had full knowledge ahead of time that her Master would be displeased and punishment was likely.

Very often, stating that punishment is a logical consequence of bad behavior is an over simplification of the problem. Yes, what the Master sees is bad behavior, but more than likely the bad behavior is a result of incorrect (faulty) thinking, failure to pay attention to detail or other mental lapses. We think, then we feel then we act. In other words, it’s her thinking (attitude) that caused bad behavior. Therefore, only applying corporal punishment is not always the best action that a Master can take to correct the problem.

Examining and confronting the faulty thinking, before punishment, is an important part of the overall correction of behavior. If faulty thinking is addressed and corrected, behavior will automatically be changed. (Details on addressing faulty thinking is discussed in other sections of this website.)

In most cases, formal corporal punishment should have several steps.

Steps in Formal punishment:

Step 1 - After discovering the behavior that needs correcting, it’s often advisable to discuss with the slave what caused her bad behavior. What was she thinking? Why did she act that way? Why did she make that choice? How is the choice she made helpful in her slave training? Is she serious about her training?

You should also make your displeasure with her behavior and thinking known to her. Take time to insure she knows the depth of your displeasure.

Step 2 - Then the slave should be sent off, by herself, to think about her wrong doing and the punishment that will surely come soon.

Step 3 - She then should to called for and told to present herself in a punishment position. A short lecture should be given before punishment. Here you can again tell her of your displeasure and what is expected of her in the future.

Step 4 - Then comes the actual punishment. The slave should not be allowed to reach a frame of mind that would allow her to lessen the effect of the punishment (subspace or mental pain blocking techniques). She should be required to say "Thank you, Sir" after each stroke, and keep count of each stroke. If she shows signs of going into subspace or blocking the pain, force her out of that mental state, before continuing. Using a different instrument to punish her with than you would use for pleasure is advisable.

Step 5 - Immediately after the punishment, the slave should be sent off, (to a corner) by herself, for a period of time to reflect on her punishment.

After completion of all five steps, you should reassure the slave that her payment for the wrong doing is over, but you expect correct behavior in the future. Do not keep harping on the bad behavior after punishing her. Completion of the 5 steps should be an ending point for her punishment.

Helpful hints:

Learned behaviors tend to become habits and, therefore, are regularly repeated when the opportunity arises. Because of this, it is particularly important that punishment be applied immediately after the first behavioral deviation occurs, or as soon as possible, rather than after numerous deviations have established undesirable behavioral patterns. The longer an unacceptable behavior is allowed to continue, the harder it is to change that behavior.

Some consider altering behavior as having six steps that include:

1. describing the undesired behavior to the slave,
2. indicating to the slave why the behavior is undesirable,
3. determining antecedents and reinforcers for the undesirable behavior,
4. eliminating the cause of the undesirable behavior,
5. getting the slave to make a commitment to change the behavior,
6. providing positive reinforcement when the desired behavior occurs and withholding it or providing punishment when it does not occur.

Choosing the best reinforcement (positive or negative) for a slave is not always an easy task. To make it easier, here are some guidelines that are often used in business that can be applied to slave training.