Long Distance Relationships

Many of us that meet partners interested in BDSM on-line need to deal with the issues involved in a long-distance relationship. This isn't the ideal place to meet, if what you are seeking is a physical connection, but for some of us, it may be the first place we find others with the same interests.

Communication with your partner is essential! Whether you communicate with your partner on the computer, on the phone, by letters, or in person, keeping in touch with how your partner is feeling is crucial in maintaining a relationship! It's easy to assume the other person is dealing with this separation well, and just as easy to conjure up all types of scenarios that will drive you mad... <s>

How to deal with this? Find small rituals that you can incorporate into your daily life that reminds you of your partner. Some find that a daily log with notes to their partner helps ease the time apart. Assignments that are a reminder of your connection keeps your relationship as a focus to other parts of your life.

Phone calls when possible is a big help. The verbal connection reinforces your commitment and connection. Emails on a routine basis, with even the smallest bits of your life shared, lets you know you are thinking of each others. Some have found that a cassette tape exchange through postal mail can bring the memory of the others voice to mind, with a smile... <s>

One thing that many don't like to think about when they are attracted to a partner online is the fact that they are not able to maintain a long distance relationship. The initial attraction is so strong, and the desire for this person so overwhelming, that they do feel that having a long distance relationship is possible. The decision is indeed difficult if maintaining is more stressful than it is pleasurable.

Consider how much time and energy you are willing to put into your relationship. Are you able to communicate your needs and have these needs met by your partner? Can you be satisfied with seeing your partner only a few times in a years span? Possibly never, if you have a cyber only relationship? Are you able to function in your daily life, maintaining your usual routine?

Long distance has its own pleasures and its own pains. It takes a lot of work and trust in your partner, well worth it if this is what you decide upon. It takes a lot of courage to decide that you can't handle this type of relationship.