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Mistakes New Folks Make
By
WALT
Like just about everything else in life, experience with BDSM
and D/s also has a learning curve. Here are a few common mistakes
that many new people make:
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Going too fast. Sometimes the excitement that comes with
the discovery of real time BDSM takes hold and you eagerly
do too much too soon. Is this your first spanking? Have you
ever used that toy before? How well do you know your partner?
It is far better to go too slow and yearn for more than to
go to fast and do something that you really regret.
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Just because someone calls themselves a Mistress or Master,
Goddess or Lord, Queen or Baron, does NOT necessarily mean
that they have the skills or talents to back it up. And,
just because a person has a "title" does not mean
that you need to submit to them.
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There is no one RIGHT way. While there may be "good
technique" and "bad technique," the
"correctness" of this action should be
based solely on what the people involved in the scene
have consented to.
-
Communication is very important. If you are new and have
questions, find someone that you think will be able to
give you a good answer. Better yet, get feedback from a
few different people. No one in this community should
feel like they are alone.
-
Learn about safe words and safe calls and read as many
"how - to BDSM books" as you can before
practicing BDSM in person. And use what you learn.
Ignorance often has bad consequences, and that is
very true in the world of BDSM and D/s.
And, lastly but not leastly:
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TRUST YOUR INTUITION.
If you have a bad feeling about meeting someone, playing
with someone, engaging in a particular activity, or anything
else, follow that gut feeling and do not do it. Often times
our subconscious picks up on clues that get translated into
that gut feeling. Again, it is far better to do too little,
or nothing at all, and have a yearning for it than putting
yourself into a potentially regrettable situation.
Please feel free to add any other comments that might be helpful
to newcomers (and feel free to e mail me at
Dom518RT@AOL.com
if you have any other feedback).
Be well A/all,
WALT
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