"Push Button to Start ..."

Rituals as a starting point

by Ashtarot

Many of us are familiar with the common problem: "How do I get into a play?"

Not all of us live in a 24/7 relationship but in a partnership, which is ruled by many everyday things - Job, household, kids, etc., etc.,

One of the typical situations which is well known to most of us is when we come home from our jobs, cook a dinner and finally settle in front of the TV to rest from the hard reality. Sometimes we have to solve family problems or talk to our partner about financial stuff or other plans and problems. How do we get from here into a play?

Usually we don't get there. Both are usually neither willing nor able to start a communication to lead the situation towards a SM / D/s play. We feel kind of exhausted and we don't feel like 'wasting' energy to encourage our partner. We often even don't know how to leave the situation and move it towards an erotic topic.

Well, you can ask where the real problem is. "We always play on Tuesday. This is our day and everything is prepared for this event."

Great idea. Works fine when your week is well organized and it kind of has the charm of school class schedule. Everyone needs to be there but no one really wants to...

Another idea is to integrate small rituals into your everyday life.

Rituals like a small but attentive serve of a coffee or a drink after dinner. It has several advantages over many other solutions.

Your slave/sub is forced to give you full attention (as you are forced to pay attention to her/him) and the situation becomes somewhat erotic. The moment your slave/sub kneels in front of you can be the starter to an erotic D/s play. It can be but it must not.

It's the moment where both can check whether they are willing to jump into a play or not.

Another advantage is the fact that none of the partners has to explicitly express their wishes. The situation is there and it's up to both to either intensify the situation or to leave it alone and have a vanilla evening.

There are many other circumstances where you can make use of small rituals like the above mentioned. They can be of great help in everyday situations. At least the can be a starting point where both can pick up the chance and sound out the situation.

Small, well-placed rituals can create an erotic atmosphere and also establish a form of verbal and non-verbal communication between the involved persons. They can become part of your relationship easily and take away the pressure to tell your partner that you feel like starting a session/play.

They don't absolve from the responsibility to honestly communicate with your partner about your wishes, fantasies and feelings, but they can make the communication a little easier.

The first step is always the hardest…