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SM versus ABUSE
POLICY STATEMENT
The Difference between S/M and Abuse
This DRAFT of "SM vs. Abuse" is a compilation of feedback
on the SM vs. Abuse statement released by LLC II in 1998. Please
distribute this to the SM-Leather-Fetish community at large. To
give your input, which will be included in determining the wording
on the final document released by LLC III, April 16-18, 1999, please
contact: Susan Wright at
Kbeaton919@aol.com
or 718-383-3318.
DRAFT for LLC III (April 16-18, 1999)
SM vs. Abuse
The following Principles and Guidelines are intended to help law
enforcement and social services professionals understand the difference
between abusive relationships vs. SM. SM is a complex group of behaviors
between consenting adults involving the consensual exchange of power,
and the giving and receiving of intense erotic sensation and/or mental
discipline.
SM includes:
"Intimate activities within the scope of consent that is
freely given."
Abuse is:
"Acts inflicted on a person without their freely given
consent."
PRINCIPLES
The SM-Leather-Fetish communities recognize the phrase "Safe,
Sane, Consensual" as the best brief summary of principles
guiding SM practices:
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Safe is being knowledgeable about the techniques and
safety concerns involved in what you are doing
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Sane is knowing the difference between fantasy and reality
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Consensual is respecting the limits imposed by each participant.
One of the recognized ways to maintain limits is through a
"safe word" which ensures the bottom/submissive can
end the activity with a word or gesture
GUIDELINES
Consent must be judged by balancing the following criteria for each
encounter at the time the acts occurred:
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Was consent expressly denied or withdrawn?
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Were there factors that negated the consent?
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What is the relationship of the participants?
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What was the nature of the activity?
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What was the intent of the accused abuser?
Whether an individual’s SM role is top/dominant or bottom/submissive,
they could be suffering abuse if they answer no to any of the following
questions:
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Are your needs and limits respected?
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Is your relationship built on honesty, trust, and respect?
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Are you able to express feelings of guilt or jealousy
or unhappiness?
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Can you function in everyday life?
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Can you refuse to do illegal activities?
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Can you insist on safe sex practices?
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Does the relationship interfere with your interaction with
family and friends?
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Can you leave the situation without fearing that you will
be harmed, or fearing the other participant(s) will harm
themselves?
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Can you exercise self-determination with money, employment,
and life decisions?
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Do you feel free to discuss your practices and feelings with
anyone you choose?
The following resources can tell you more about safe, sane and
consensual sexual expression:
Leather Leadership Conference
plus, any group who wants to sign onto the statement can insert
their contact information here.
The following resources have been educated about safe, sane and
consensual sexual expression and will not be judgmental about your
lifestyle:
Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project
Hotline: 212 807-0197
647 Hudson St.
New York, NY 10014
Kink Aware Professionals
The resource for people who are seeking psychotherapeutic,
medical, dental, complementary healing, and legal professionals
who are informed about the diversity of consensual, adult
sexuality.
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