Dynamics of BDSM

by Cadabra

"Expect poison in still waters"
~William Blake~

Since we first started out in BDSM about 12-15 years ago we have explored tons of different aspects.

At a fairly early point in time, we realized that it was close to impossible to determine whether we'd be into something or not till we had tried it out. Things we laughed our butts off at while not being "hot 'n bothered" could suddenly switch 180 degrees and be a huge turn on when the mood and atmosphere was right.

Later we learned that things that did not work at one point in time could easily be IT a year or two later - while at the same time what's IN today may be OUT in half a year's time.

Some things seem to survive forever - while other things enter the scene like a giant star only to fade away over a few months.

There are two dynamic elements present:

Short term dynamics:
What doesn't give you a kick in the morning may do so in the evening when the candles are burning.

Long term dynamics:
What doesn't give you a kick at this point in time may do so in a year's time.

It's not important if it's the one discipline or the other that's attracting you - what matters is that SOMETHING does.

We have experienced episodes with little or no BDSM being present - kind of like a vacuum in between periods with lots of BDSM. Common for these low activity periods is that the fire needed new oxygen to burn on.

It's extremely important to us that the elevator doesn't get stuck at a certain level - that we constantly seek new areas of unknown lands to explore - not knowing where the journey is taking us.

Being unsure of which harbor you're heading to makes it even more important to know that your ship is strong and solid - and this is a very important factor in a sound long term BDSM relationship: that the dominant knows that he is free to look into unexplored areas without fearing it. That he can try out kinks he doesn't even know whether he or his slave is into - because there is only one way to find out: try it!

© 2001 Cadabra