The Bitch of Psychological Twist

by Jill Carter, Psycho Dom
Edited by "Princess"

THE LEATHER JOURNAL
Issue 81
Page 40

I am a lazy Mistress. For that reason I specialize in Psychological Domination. You may know the style by its other names: head games, mind fucks, edge play and psychological torture. Psychological dominance is the core of all SM play. The mind generates fantasies that heighten sexual gratification. Let's explore the psychology of psychological dominance:

Safe Word
It's difficult to establish a safe word while playing Psychological Domination. In bondage, for example, a Top can physically keep the bottom in a scene long enough to work through any fears. In Psychological Domination, a cry of, "Stop it, I can't take anymore," ends the game. The head space is broken. Pursuing the scene constitutes abuse, non-consensual play.

You, as a Top, must recognize the warning signs of a Psychological Domination scene in trouble. The only possible safe word is " STOP " period. The better solution is to pay attention and head off trouble before it begins.

Danger Signals
Tops and bottoms both are responsible for the scene. Tops, however, have an additional duty to watch for emotional demons. If you unleash a monster, do not play psychologist. Stop the scene immediately. Talk the bottom down (yes, much like talking a suicide down from a ledge) and discontinue play until the bottom's emotional issues are resolved.

Remember that your reputation as a Top is at stake. Once news spreads that you play emotional games without regard for the safety and/or limitations of your bottom, other bottoms will stay clear of you, as will some Tops.

Don't confuse psychological domination with Edge Play (crossing over the lines of fantasy). A Psychological Domination scene involves the creation of fantasy from a bottom's real emotions and fears.

Maintaining Control
Mental and emotional stability are hallmarks of an effective Psychological Domination Top. Anger and hostility have no place in a Psychological Domination scene. Your primary concern must be for the safety of your victim.

Meditate before embarking on a psychological scene. Rid yourself of any outside interferences. Never indulge in alcohol or drugs before a Psychological Domination scene. Artificially induced head trips can dull your senses, and prevent you from noticing the signs of a scene gone awry.

Observe your victim's reactions, especially signs of panic. A tender touch and honest request for trust may be all the bottom needs in the way of assurance.

Be aware of emotional and psychological limits. Just as you can injure, maim or kill a person physically, you can destroy a person mentally and emotionally. Your actions, or lack of, can be as deadly as pulling a loaded gun to your bottom's head and pulling the trigger. The result, emotional death.

Consensual Cruelty
Psychological dominance provides the ultimate power trip-control the mind and you control everything else. It's consensual mental cruelty, methodical and deliberate yet draped in love and compassion.

A Psychological Domination scene plays on fears, those that are real or imagined, known or unknown. The fear of what might happen creates the high.

If, for example, you lock a person blindfolded in a dark room for several hours, the fear of darkness and abandonment generates tension and feeds the fantasy. Your bottom doesn't need to know that you'll check on her every 10-15 minutes-knowing about the safety measures would kill the scene.

The Mind as a Prop
Psychological play doesn't require many extrinsic props. The best toy is your demonic imagination, and your ability to tap into your bottom's fears.

You can create panic by merely blindfolding your victim and walking away - no restraints. Imagine the reaction with a hood.

Progressive Play
Psychological play consists of three progressive levels: basic head games, hypnotic play and breaking the will. Each element can be incorporated into the making of a slave.

Basic Head Games
Basic head games involve physical and verbal humiliation. A bottom that "isn't into pain," for example, is a great candidate for Psychological Domination play. You can create a head trip that is as frightening as a flogging, but without the physical pain.

Always listen to what isn't said, as well as what is said. The first venture into a Psychological Domination scene should come in the form of a relaxed consultation.

As someone from the Old Guard era, few of my clients experienced child abuse. Most believed that punishment, although painful, was a necessary part of childhood-a show of love administered only to teach and build character.

Much of the New Guard comes from a different school of thought. Punishment came in anticipation of what might be done, not what was done wrong. The result is a generation of emotionally scarred bottom's.

Trust your instincts. Do not pursue a psychological scene with someone still battling childhood demons.

During the initial interview, discuss limitations. You must push, not cross, the bounds of your bottom's fears. Never violate those limitations.

Set rules before play begins. Provide a few basic verbal commands-too many will cause confusion. Explain that failure to obey the rules will result in punishment. Discuss specific punishment through the technique of Show and Demonstrate.

• Show the instruments of pain and pleasure in a threatening, menacing manner.
• Tell how each instrument can be used to inflict either pain or pleasure.
• Demonstrate by hitting a wall or table. The sound alone will leave a lasting impression.

The next step is breakdown. Remove everything from your victim, including jewelry, to strip away the identity and dignity. Use silence-it's quite unnerving at this stage of the game.

Speak in calm, even tones. Anything else shows a lack of control on your part.

When playing with a SAM (Smart Ass Masochist), do something to make him laugh. A devilish smirk usually does the trick. If he breaks, punish him. Always follow through with punishment, or you will lose control.

Next, apply the new clothing: wrist and ankle cuffs, and collar. Use a blindfold or hood to heighten fear. Restraints free the bottom of guilt associated with surrender to fantasy.

Psychological torture uses sight, sound, and touch to create a state of panic, excitement and fear without violating any limitations and without using toys that cause physical pain or harm. Create discomfort through implied action. Your victim's mind will do the rest.

Hypnotic Play
Through hypnosis, you can create cyber worlds-the illusion of restraints and torture without props/toys.

Hypnotic Play is a very dangerous game! Study under a qualified teacher before embarking on this type of scene.

Hypnotic games penetrate the inner psyche. It is here that you may encounter emotional demons, even those that your victim doesn't know exist. You can accidentally create a psychotic monster. Reserve hypnotic play for established relationships. You must know the behavior, emotional levels, moods and thoughts of your bottom.

A hypnosis-induced fantasy that becomes too real for a bottom could cause a cerebral hemorrhage or heart attack. Some strong willed bottoms can pull themselves out of the hypnotic state. Many can't, and could experience permanent emotional damage.

Exercise common sense when planting a subliminal suggestion. The trigger you implant could cause an unwanted reaction during a business meeting, while driving, or other inappropriate situation. Remove the suggestion before you send your bottom home.

Even worse, you could actually force your victim to relive a disturbing event buried deep in the psyche-like childhood abuse or rape.

Discontinue all SM games if the bottom becomes emotionally unstable during a scene. Unresolved issues place an inexperienced and/or unsuspecting Top and bottom at risk.

Breaking the Will
This form of head game isn't a game at all. The practice should be reserved for Tops who are experienced and willing to accept lifetime responsibility for that bottom. This is definitely a mind and life altering form of SM.

As a Top, you must be physically and mentally able, not just willing, to go the distance. First, talk to a Top who has already entered into such an arrangement. Once you break the will of a slave, you are completely responsible for meeting all of it's needs, both physical and emotional.

There are seven psychological stages of submission. They follow, listed in order. Seek extensive training and counseling from a SM mentor who understands the process. It is one that requires total commitment of your mind, body, soul, love and courage.

Shock: The bottom/slave will not believe you would think about doing anything so drastic as to break its wills.

Frustration: The bottom will become frustrated by the situation and frustrated with you, and won't know whether to scream, fight, cry or succumb. Ignore the pleas for you to stop.

Fear: The bottom won't understand your behavior or motives. The ability to read your actions is gone. Fears about the relationship developed during this stage.

Anger: The second anger stage is much more intense. The bottom/slave will feel betrayed. Expect accusations. Anything you hear will rock your own sanity. Make sure the restraints are strong. Block out the emotional onslaught. Your act is that if ultimate love. You are about to give your slave/bottom all you have to give-yourself, your life.

Resignation/Surrender: This is the most frightening stage because the end is in sight. Do not lose confidence. The resignation stage is a turning point. You will reflect on images of this person you love so dearly. At this point, your slave has given in to fate, surrendering will to you, but not completely.

Acceptance: Once the bottom has reached this final stage, you will hear comments such as, "Do with me what you please. I don't care any more. I am yours to do with as you desire; You win." Although you have triumphed, you will feel depleted, scared and sad. Hold your slave with all of your might. Restraints are no longer needed.

If you stop before you reach the acceptance phase, your bottom/slave will remain emotionally trapped in the most recent stage completed. You will never have the opportunity to pick up where you ended. You will have to start from the top, only this time the walls will be higher, thicker, and much more difficult to penetrate.

Continuing Education
The best way to break the will is through a combination of pain and pleasure, Balance the two throughout the process. This process truly creates a slave mentality for life. From this point forward the bottom will forever be in slave mode-but not incapable of going about daily life.

Your experience and your slave's will dictate the amount of time needed to achieve Level III. Success marks the beginning of your work. In many ways, you are now a slave. Your slave, by giving up all responsibility for her/his own life, is free.

The next phase is reprogramming. Only through careful planning can you condition your slave. You cannot break the will, walk away, and say that your job is done. If you do, you have destroyed a person for life. Your slave at this point will have no will, no will to live, no will to do or be anything. You have an emotional void whose self-worth and self-image are gone.

Begin the reprogramming immediately, enforcing the programming during the next three weeks, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You must spend your entire waking minutes with your new slave.

Think of your new slave as a newborn child. You wouldn't say "I'm too tired to deal with that kid now. I'll feed him in the morning." The new slave is your dependent, and requires constant monitoring and reinforcement.

Time will bring some semblance of normalcy. But realize that there is no going back to the person who once existed before you began Breaking the Will. That's why you hear my better half jokingly say, "You created me Dr. Frankenstein." The truth of the matter is, I literally did.

Final Notes
Tops, in psychological dominance, have a tremendous amount of responsibility. They are responsible for the bottom's emotional and physical safety at all times.

Hypnotic head games can be deadly. Know what you're doing at all times. If you unleash demons, you had better be prepared to deal with them.

If you tackle the third level of psychological SM, know what you're doing before you begin.

Once a bottom feels secure, the Top can get into some very bizarre and rewarding psychological scenes. The scenes will allow your bottom to go through head trips, get freaked out and receive pleasure only because she/he trusts you.