Mommy Katt is a self-professed Mommy within the realms of age-play. Age-play refers to consenting adults who role-play in some way pertaining to age. Sometimes this is "infantilism," in which one adult acts as a baby, but many ages can be involved, including schoolgirl or schoolboy with headmaster or headmistress, and every conceivable age in between. The consensual participation of adults is the key. Age-play has nothing whatsoever to do with anyone under the age of consenting adult.

Eros Zine: Well, that seemed pretty clinically clear. There has to be a warmer, more erotic aspect to it, Mommy Katt. Could you elaborate on that for us?

Mommy Katt: A lot of people are more familiar with D/s: dominance/submission based relationships. One of the ways that I like to describe age-play is as a form of D/s that is the most deeply routed in all of us. We were all at one time infants, children and teens, and as such our first power exchange relationships (non-sexual) were with adults, primarily parents, teachers, and other adult authority figures.

It's a fact that in our society children have less power than adults, and infants have the least power of all. They are completely dependent on adults to have their most basic needs met. I see age-play as regressing to a time when you naturally had less power, which is a very intuitive, natural process. You are returning psychologically to a time when you were vulnerable and less powerful, and you relied on others to meet your needs. As an age-play Mommy or other adult authority figure, I'm engaging in a power exchange that is very strong, very primal and very respectful of 'caring' for that inner child in the ways sought out.

The stress on adults is very key, because a lot of people wrongly connect age-play or infantilism to pedophilia. Really, if anything, it is on the exact opposite of the spectrum. Pedophiles are predators who seek out the most vulnerable and non-consensual people for their victims: real children and infants. Pedophiles want power over people, to hurt, control, rape, and take consent away from the most vulnerable and innocent members of our society.

Infantilists and age-players seek exactly the opposite; they want to put themselves in the role of the most vulnerable position possible: that of the child or infant. They want to submit in a consensual fashion to an adult who wishes to engage them in this role. I have an MA in psychology, and I've been involved in kink for many many years, so I'm not speaking out of my ass on this one.

EZ: Okay, since I am the ignorant one, I thought it might be helpful if you speak on what are the loving benefits that seem to draw such a large participating base?

MK: I've 'rebirthed' infantilists and it's been an amazing experience for both of us. Life changing. Some people are also familiar with the therapeutic concepts of 'inner child' and 'rebirth' work, usually classed under new-age psychotherapy. People do age-play in all sorts of ways; for some of them, there is no sexual or erotic element to it at all, though that is rare. For most people there is a very erotic element to it.

I think it hits us on a number of levels. That part is what makes a lot of people uncomfortable is connecting anything 'child-like' with 'sex'. The beauty of age-play is that these are adults with adult bodies, adult needs and adult imaginations. I think we all have a very strong need to be loved and accepted unconditionally. Most of the time this need was strongest when we were young and vulnerable, or perhaps that was the only time when we really did feel we were completely accepted and loved unconditionally. Or maybe we weren't and had always longed for it.

EZ: We're shocked, I think, when we first realize we are not the center of the universe, as our mommies would have us believe. There is an ache which never goes away for some folks, though, in still being the center of someone's universe; the need for that connection with mommy in order to believe in themselves as good human beings. Mommies love you.

MK: Mommies, or daddies, or your favorite strict school teacher you always wanted to please. Maybe you had a crappy childhood. Maybe your parents were abusive. Maybe you want to be little again and see what it's like with a 'nice mommy' or maybe you want to have a mean mommy. Maybe you want a Dommy Mommy with a heavy dose of SM but with the blissful security of knowing that unlike your real childhood, you have made the decision, of who, what and when. You have taken control over your choices around pleasure, around pain, around love and around lifestyle. Submitting, regressing and being an age-play child or infantilist may be seen as a role where you are giving up power, but the reality is that adults engaging in consensual kink are empowered in giving over. They make the choice of how much, what way and with whom, and it becomes an even more empowering process.

I think people who have a designated kink, like infantilists, are in some way blessed. They know on some level what the ache is about, what they want and need to be whole, healthy, happy people. That is a gift that doesn't come from me, as the Mommy, it comes from self-knowing, self-loving, and accepting yourself, kinks and all, regardless of the cultural standards. There are people who don't get to that place yet still engage in age-play, but the ache doesn't leave, because they haven't realized it's something that gets filled from the inside out, not the outside in.

EZ: How did you get into this work and world?

MK: I've been a lifestyle dominant for over ten years, and I've been kinky and non-conventional all my life. I've always had this belief that people should do whatever the fuck they want, as long as it's not hurting anyone. I became a Mommy, because I met a person in retirement who had been looking for one all their lives and had a big ache. I got to know them and care for them. I thought, "Why not, I can do this. It will take so little from me on my end, just to give them a space to let them be themselves, and yet have it mean the world for them."

It became easy. Now I have adult babies crawling out of the woodwork wanting Mommying, and it's incredibly satisfying. It's that look that someone gives you, like you've handed them the moon on a platter, when all you've done is handed them a cookie, or tied on an apron, or read them a story. So okay, I'll confess, I'm an adoration junkie. I love being a Mommy, a Domme, and all kinds of things, because when I give the love, I get it back in triplicate. I love being loved, worshipped and adored. Who doesn't?

EZ: What do you feel drives folks to see this kind of rebirthing as redemption?

MK: The reasons are as varied and complex as the people themselves, I don't think there is one common thread. If there is, I haven't found it. The age-players and infantilists I've known have been male, female, young, old, from happy childhoods, from horrid childhoods, from all different backgrounds, experiences, etc. I'm not as interested in the why of it as I am in living in the moment.

EZ: How many redemptions or full birthings have you done with folks?

MK: Every relationship I've had with an adult child or adult baby has been different. With my very first adult baby, I spent time getting to know her over a nine month period of 'gestation' so we could both be sure it was something we wanted to fully pursue. I consider her my age-play daughter, and undergoing the serious ritual and rebirthing process with her will be a part of our lives forever. That's the only actual 'rebirth' ritual I've done. With the other adult kids and adult babies I've played with, it's been more casual and less intensive. I'm simply unable to have that depth of relationship with that many people.

EZ: So the rebirthing session took nine months. I assume the timeline was partially due to the traditional gestation term, but also to helping you learn what monumental forces were going to be at play for this individual. Do you have to bond with an individual for its affectivity to last?

MK: It's what I chose to do with this one individual, my baby girl, because she was my first baby. I wanted to make sure I was able to meet her needs and that we were right for one another if she was going to be a part of my life and family forever. The others I play with are not relationships with that depth. There was only one other adult baby who I was deeply connected with, a young man, and our feelings for one another were very strong. We were very much in love. Unfortunately, because of limitations on his end to integrate his adult baby lifestyle into his life as a whole, I've had to stop being his Mommy. I miss him dearly, love him incredibly, and hope that he does find the courage to make changes in his life so that he can find his happiness.

EZ: Why did you go into this field? Does your life partner support you in this?

MK: My life partner, Wolfe, is my Daddy so I switch. I can 'go little' as well. He's very supportive.

EZ: Has it become a business or is it just something you do to help with a regression?

MK: I'm constantly trying not to let it become a business. It's hard because there is a big demand; a lot of people want time with me as a Dom, as a Mom or as a Dommy Mommy. I don't have the time and resources to meet all those requests. I usually only play with people who I feel a connection with and whom I really enjoy spending time with. I tried doing the 'pro' thing for a little while (having a set donation per time, etc.), but I really wasn't comfortable with that. Now if I'm busy and someone wants to play with me, offers to donate/pay and I feel a connection with them, I'll occasionally give it a go. I usually leave it up to them to give what they feel is fair and can afford.

If I don't enjoy my time with them, I won't play with them again regardless of any money exchanged. It's an expensive 'hobby' being a Mommy and/or Dom - I have huge amounts of things to buy for scenes that need to be replaced, cleaned, and cared for. Crib / cage / bondage / changing table, diapers, wipes, cream, powder, bottles, pacifiers, books, toys, blankies, clothes, etc., etc., etc.

One of the ways it has become somewhat business-like is through the website, www.darknursery.com. The membership fees pretty much just cover our costs of serving the site, creating the content, never mind all the time spent coding pages, etc. My main motivation for the site is similar to that of being a Mommy, or a Dom. I enjoy doing it, I've been photo-archiving my kinky life for about 5 years now, and whenever I get into something new, since I have photo archives of it, I end up putting a site up around it when the content becomes great enough, why not?

Besides, I think porn is a great form of kink education. Pictures can say volumes.

EZ: So you do still session as a Domme? Do all the sessions range on regressions?

MK: I do sessions of all kinds, age-play, adult baby, BDSM and various fetishes. I also have a degree in counseling psychology. If you do any kind of 'break down' process with someone, you need to have the skills to provide containment, safety, proper after care and to make sure they are going back into the world the same as or better than when they came to you. I don't think you need to have a psychology background to do that. In fact many Dominants and Mommies I know have more therapeutic skills than some psychologists I know.

EZ: Thanks for your time - you've really provided a lot of information.