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FISTING: to me, fisting - be it anal or vaginal - is
the most intimate and the most intense form of lovemaking.
While there are some similarities between anal and vaginal
fisting, there are also many differences.
Anal and vaginal fisting both require from:
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Top and bottom:
time, patience, empathy, and trust.
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Top:
ability to LISTEN to and give FULL attention to
the bottom, a good manicure (!), LUBE, LUBE,
LUBE, and homework - understand the anatomy
involved, read the resource books/articles,
check the Internet for fisting FAQs, etc.
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bottom:
homework (same as the Top's), ability to communicate
clearly and openly with the Top, and willingness to
be vulnerable, for the Top truly holds the bottom's
heart and health in his/her hand.
Fisting books
(available on the Internet from
www.kinkybooks.com
):
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Anal:
Primary resource book: Trust, The Hand Book (A
Guide to the Sensual and Spiritual Art of
Handballing), by Bert Herrman (©1991 by Bert
Herrman. Alamo Square Press, P.O. Box 14543,
San Francisco, CA 94114). SKIM: Anal Pleasure
& Health, by Jack Morin, Ph.D. (©1981,
revised 1986, by Jack Morin. Yes Press, 938
Howard Street #101, San Francisco, CA 94103).
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Vaginal:
Only resource book of which I'm aware is: A
Hand in the Bush: The line Art of Vaginal Fisting,
by Deborah Addington. (©1997 by Deborah Addington.
Greenery Press, 3739 Balboa Avenue #105, San
Francisco, CA 94121).
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Anal play in general, with a mention of fisting:
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women,
by Tristan Taormino, and The Ultimate Guide to Anal
Sex for Men, by Bill Brent. (Both published by
Clefs Press, PO Box 14684, San Francisco, CA
94114).
Other- Fisting Resources:
Anal
There are many fisting (aka "handballing") websites,
including (but not limited to!):
To order J-Lube:
eNASCO On-Line Catalogs Worldwide Service To
Education, Health, Agriculture, Industry
then search by keyword for "J-Lube."
Anal and vaginal:
FeISTyman has a heterosexual fisting website (
www.fistingsex.com
). Yahoo! has several clubs devoted to fisting; I'm
a co-founder of the "Ladies and Gents Fisting Society" (
http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/ladiesandgentsfistingsociety
).
Vaginal:
Very comprehensive six-page article, "Mama's Got a Squeeze Box,
Daddy Never Sleeps at Night: An Article about Vaginal Fisting,"
by Pat Califia. Sandmutopia Guardian, Issue #15. Their web site,
www.aswgt.com,
indicates that a facsimile copy of Issue #15 may be ordered for $12.
Vaginal:
Short two-page article, "Fisting Part I: The Cunt" by the
(unknown to me) author of a column called "The Practicing
Pervert." Taste of Latex, Issue #5.
Ordering Supplies Online:
To order latex and nitrite gloves, especially the WAY
COOL Purple Nitrite extra long gloves, go to
http://www.safeskin.com/glove_mat_ster.asp,
write down the catalogue number for the gloves you want,
and then call Laboratory Supply Company at (800) 888-5227.
To order Eros on the Internet (generally cheaper than stores):
Condom Express- Personal Lubricants Index Page
Specific medical questions
are non judgmentally answered by Chicago's Howard Brown
Health Center, (773) 388-1600. Don't worry; they've
heard it all!
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Preparation for anal and vaginal fisting
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Affects
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Vaginal Fisting
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Anal Fisting
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Top and bottom
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Anatomy of the vagina, including how it and the cervix
change during sexual excitement
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Anatomy of the lower digestive system, which
includes the rectum and the colon
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Top
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Give yourself a VERY good manicure, cutting
our nails VERY short
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Give Yourself a VERY good manicure, cutting
your nails VERY short
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bottom
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No need to douche or prepare
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A thorough plain-tap-water enema several hours before
play may be self administered or done by the Top as
part of a pre-fisting scene. Be sure to use a
bottom-specific enema kit or nozzle, a disposable
enema kit, or disposable enema bottles (just be
sure to replace the medicated solution in the
bottle with warm tap water)
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bottom
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Shaving the pubic area may make things easier,
but it's not necessary
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Shaving around the anus may make things easier,
but it's not necessary
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bottom
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No dietary restrictions
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Read the description in Trust about foods to be
avoided during the time before playing
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Supplies required for anal and vaginal fisting
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Type of Fisting (or Play)
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Supply Item
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Reason
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Anal, vaginal, and/or oral
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Hibiclens ®
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Minimizes risk if you're going to do any rimming
(oral/anal contact)
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Anal, vaginal, and/or oral
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Listerine ®
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Minimizes risk if you're going to do oral/vaginal
contact (cunnilingus) after rimming
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Anal and/or vaginal
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Gloves
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LOTS of different types of gloves are available:
latex, nitrite, vinyl, etc. - so latex allergies
are not an excuse to avoid gloves!
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Anal and/or vaginal
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Disposable underpads, paper towels (lots!),
cloth towels, baby wipes, etc.
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Cleanup -fisting is MESSY fun!!!
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Anal and/or vaginal
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Dawn ® or detergent
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Grease-remover for cleanup
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Anal
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Lube
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Many lubes work; experiment! (I use a combination
of Crisco® with Eros® and/or J-Lube®
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Anal
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Plastic turkey baster
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GREAT for injecting J-Lube ® deep into rectum!
Be sure to file off all rough edges, and it is
not the one for thanksgiving.
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Vaginal
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Lube
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Many tubes work; experiment! (I prefer Eros ®)
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Anal and/or vaginal
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Something to drink
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Both the Top and bottom can get very thirsty. Make
sure to have liquid (water, Gatorade ®, soda, etc.)
easily available - and in containers that won't break
if your greasy hands cause you to drop them! A flexible
straw is a nice touch, too
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Type of Fisting (or Play)
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Comment
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Anal, vaginal and/or oral
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There is very little risk of HIV transmission from rimming
- but there is a risk of bacterial and parasitic infections,
and there are a few things you can do to minimize those
risks. Other than abstinence, the safest way, of course,
is to avoid direct contact by using a dental dam, or
plastic wrap. The next safest course is a sensual
clean up of the bottom's anus. Using warm water,
paper towels, and Hibiclens®, gently clean the
outside and just inside the anus (the places your
tongue will reach). If you plan on doing a lot of
anal play, consider getting the Hepatitis A and B
vaccines; check with your physician, or a community
health care facility like Chicago's Howard Brown
Health Center.
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Anal, vaginal and/or oral
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A female cannot go from anal to vaginal play
without gloves, condom, etc., being changed, or
she risks vaginal infections; same with oral
contact. After rimming a female, swish some
Listerine® in your mouth before you perform
cunnilingus.
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Anal and/or vaginal
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The bottom may find that fisting is sometimes
slightly-to-very uncomfortable and may perhaps
feel a twinge of pain now and then. If fisting
becomes painful at any time, though, the bottom
MUST immediately tell the Top. Properly done fisting
is NOT PAINFUL. One thing I find helps: the Top needs
to keep reminding the bottom to breathe, to take deep
breaths, to relax. The Top needs to be VERY aware of the
bottom's body Anal and body language, ready to slow down
or stop, and/or vaginal. A little bit of blood after fisting
or playing with anal or vaginal toys is not uncommon. If,
however, there is a lot of blood, or bright red blood that
doesn't stop quickly, GO TO AN EMERGENCY ROOM IMMEDIATELY.
Do not hesitate; better to be safe than sorry. They have
heard and seen it all before!
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Anal and/or vaginal
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In my opinion, gloves are MANDATORY, because: (i) if the
Top has the slightest cut or hangnail, it can be contaminated
by minute amounts of feces, leading to blood poisoning and other
unpleasantness; and (ii) the slightest jagged nail or hangnail
will feel like a razor in the bottom's insides. I've been told
that women with long nails can pad the tips of their nails,
inside the gloves, with cotton balls, but I've never tried
that - I just keep my nails short. Latex gloves are available
at your local pharmacy in small, medium and large - be sure to
use the appropriate size! Nitrite gloves, including very long
ones, are available from Nasco; nitrite gloves are great if
either the Top or the bottom has a latex allergy.
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Anal and/or vaginal
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It's not a good idea to share intimate toys, but
if you are going to share a dildo, put a condom on
it, then clean it in a bleach solution - or put
it in the dishwasher!
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Anal and/or vaginal
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FOREPLAY LOTS!!
Start slow and sensuous. Touch your partner all over. Get
your partner HOT. Oral sex and/or rimming work VERY well
to heat up a bottom - and it's MUCH easier to fist a HOT,
hungry bottom!
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Anal and/or vaginal
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Baby wipes are handy for getting the first layer
of grease off when you're done! Dawn® dishwashing
detergent will help on the towels, etc.
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Anal and/or vaginal
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Anal and/or vaginal Eros® is my first preference
for vaginal fisting, and my third preference for
anal fisting. It's rather expensive. I transfer
it to another bottle with a flip top. LUBE!
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Anal and/or vaginal
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Make sure the lube is in a bottom-specific container,
or that you're not touching the opening to the lube's
container once you've begun fisting. LUBE, LUBE!
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Anal and/or vaginal
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You may have to stop for the bottom to take a
bathroom break. As the Top's hand goes in farther,
there will be increased pressure on the bladder. If
the bottom can empty his/her bladder, there's more
room for the Top's hand.
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Anal and/or vaginal
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Fisting is MESSY fun! Have lots of towels handy -paper
towels and cloth towels (but not your company-best
towels!) to clean up all that LUBE!
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Anal
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No matter how well the bottom has cleaned out, you may
encounter feces. Don't make a fuss, or both of you will
get nervous, and the bottom will tighten up. Just let
the bottom take a bathroom break. change the underpad,
change gloves, and keep on fisting!
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Anal
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Crisco® should be in a bottom-specific container. Or,
using a clean spoon or hands in gloves that have not
yet touched anything else, scoop enough for a fisting
session and transfer it to a disposable (or dishwasher-safe)
container. I find it works best to use Crisco® around the
anal opening, and then use both Crisco® and/or other
lube(s) to coat (and recoat) my gloves. Remember:
LUBE, LUBE, LUBE!
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Anal
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J-Lube ® is my preference for extended anal fisting.
It's a very inexpensive powder that you mix with water.
It may be refrigerated for about a week or frozen
indefinitely. I prefer to mix it just before use in
a big metal dishwasher-safe bowl. I keep it on a small
table immediately next to where we're playing, so I
can dip my hands and immediately insert them. I keep
a towel on the floor and on everything I might drip
on. This is MESSY - but VERY effective! I've also
mixed a batch, frozen it in ice cube trays,
transferred some cubes to a freezer bag, and
then 1 defrost a few hours before playing. NOTE:
J-Lube® is dextrose-based, so it should NOT be used
with a bottom who is diabetic. LUBE, LUBE, LUBE!
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Have Fun - and Play Safe!!!
(C) 2001 by Mistress Joanne C. Gaddy
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