Submission: From a Dominant’s Point of View

What is a Submissive?

By Norische

The basics of submission is a subject that has been explored for quite some time, and no matter how much contemplation one does, there is simply no way to define the exact nature of submission or the true nature of a submissive. The reason of this that each submissive is different and hence the definition of a submissive changes as the role they fill changes. Just as each submissive is different, each Dominant is different as well, and hence their view of what a submissive is, is different.

A Submissive Is Less Than Human
This is an older point of view, but oddly enough it is still present today. In the past slaves/subs were viewed as a piece of property, with less actual value than a horse or even cattle. It was not believed that one need educate a slave/sub, or attempt to train or even improve him or her simply because they did not have the capacity to learn. This line of thought lead to quite a bit of abuse and eventually individuals began to understand the basic flaw in this hypothesis. If your slave/sub is so worthless, then why lower yourself to own a worthless piece of property. What does this point of view honestly say about the owner?

A Submissive Is A Precious Jewel
This is a more recent hypothesis, but again it does have flaws. Some Dominants want a slave/sub to play with, to spoil and to show off, but this is not a slave/sub this is a showpiece. Yes the value of a good slave/sub cannot be measured in dollars and cents but it doesn’t mean one must spoil a slave/sub or treat them as if they are playthings to be pampered. A slave/sub is definitely something to be treasured, but try and maintain a logical point of view... treat them with respect... do not attempt to buy their affection, obedience or respect. Those are things that have no price, and cannot be bought.

A Submissive Is A Mate
There are many Dominant/sub couples out there that are not only a couple as far as the BDSM realm is concerned but they are a couple outside this realm. This does have its good points, like that whole death do us part thing, but it also has its draw backs. I have known several married couples that try a BDSM relationship, I have found that those whom are married for quite a while prior to their interest with BDSM seem to have control issues. By this I mean that they have been equals for so long that sometimes the submissive feels as if he or she is playacting and that it isn’t real, if you have known someone a long time as an equal it is very hard to see them as something other than that. Now for those individual that get into BDSM from the start and decide to take their unity to another level, these relationships seem to work out quite well... this is not saying that they are all made in heaven, but at least when they start out in the dungeon they are half way there already.

A Submissive Is A Sex Toy
This is a very limiting view of a submissive. Sure there are those that a sexually exciting, and can blow one’s mind in bed... among other things... pardon the pun. Realistically however, how many individuals out there are used for sex and nothing more. That isn’t a slave/sub that is a hooker, or a gigolo. Within a BDSM relationship there may or may not be sex involved, but to say the least there is always a hint of sensuality within the relationship. The control itself is very gratifying, and can very well be considered sexual in nature.

A Submissive Is a Whipping Post
Some individuals enjoy the S & M side of the lifestyle so much that this is the area of main focus. While again this is very limiting as far as functionality goes, there are many that feel a slave/sub is something to be used and set aside until it is needed again later. To me this is a part time relationship; there are so many things that can be done beyond the physical realm of sadomasochism. I must admit I am a sadistic bitch, and I have had a pain puppy in the past... it was wonderful, I had so much fun because the more demented I got the better he loved it. To be honest though the S & M portion of our relationship was rather minute in comparison to the rest. To limit someone to simply take a beating and discarding them is to waste so much potential.

Each of these ideals is unique, and each has it’s positive and negative connotations. None of them are more or less appropriate than any of the other point of view; for each individual the situation is unique. If a slave needs to humiliation and degradation then for their owner to do so would be appropriate. If a slave needs bondage or pain and wants nothing more then that type of relationship would be appropriate. Do not judge one point of view over another; judge only what is right or wrong for you. If you desire one thing from a relationship do not allow someone to tell you that what you desire is wrong or incorrect. Follow your heart and you will find your tranquility.

Now that I have discussed the different point of views that I have experienced, I feel it is only appropriate that I should discuss my own hypothesis. Please take into consideration that this is only my point of view and it is where my heart lies, this does not mean that my way or my thoughts are right for anyone but me, so do not consider my words as a judgment of anyone else.

A Submissive Is A Tool
A slave/sub is a tool to be used and appreciated; to be allowed to do the job that he or she was created for and to be respected. Any craftsman will tell you that to do the job right you must use the right tool, I feel this is very true when it comes to slave/subs as well. To use a domestic as a pain toy is kind of like using a hammer to pound in screws, it may work for you at the time but in the end it will be a problem. To keep a slave content you must allow him or her to do the job that they were designed to do. Some slave/subs do not like pain, others crave pain and hate doing housework, and others still don’t mind housework but would prefer to be kneeling at your feet holding on to every word you say. Most slaves/subs are somewhat flexible, kind of like finishing nails and dry wall nails they can both hold two boards together but which one will do the job better. Using the right individual for the right job will make both Owner and owned happier and more fulfilled.

Hints On How To Use A Tool Properly

1. Do not forget about your tools, when you finish with them, put them back where they belong, and if they are dirty, clean them before you put them up.

2. Don’t loan your tools out to someone that doesn’t know how to use them properly, accidents happen and normally it is because of inexperience, and carelessness.

3. Keep your tools in good condition and they will last a lot longer.

4. Never compare one tool to another, tools are unique on their own, judge them for the qualities they have not for the ones they lack.

5. Just because a tool is shiny and new does not make it better than the old one you already have. A new hammer can be exciting but it will never fit your hand the way your old buddy in the toolbox does.

6. Spending a lot of money to get the tool doesn’t mean it is better or worse than the one you bought at a garage sale for a buck, money doesn’t make a tool’s worth, it is how well it can do the job.

7. Tools are meant to be used, if they set in the drawer for too long they can rust, then you have nothing but a really ugly paper weight.

8. Use each tool for in the manner it was designed. Using a putty knife to scrape the burnt cheese from the bottom of your stove may work once but it isn’t what it was designed for. The same goes for using a screwdriver to chip away at the ice in your freezer, it may be a new twist on the how the tool can be useful but respect the tool and use it for the purpose it is most comfortable with.

9. Never abuse your tools, when you are angry keep away from your tools. Don’t pick up a hammer and hit the wall, yes it is the purpose that the tool was designed for but you may create a "hole" new problem that wasn’t present prior to your little outburst.

These are lessons that my father taught me about how to treat my tools, little did he know that I took his words of wisdom to heart in such a unique manner. A slave is a treasure, to be used, cared for and appreciated. If you treat them well, you will find they reward you with loyalty, respect, and obedience. Never take them for granted and always tell them that you appreciate them, more slaves are lost to the lack of communication than anything else.

As with everything this is my opinion, take what you will and leave the rest. If you wish to contact me, my email address is Norisch1@mchsi.com. If you wish to see more of my work you may find a complete listing of all my writings at... http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Norisches_Quill/?yguid=99788111 in the files section.

Norische