Worthy To Be Owned

Tips for submissives/slaves

By Norische

There are many things that make a submissive desirable in this realm. To me however there are some things that take precedence over others, obedience, manners, etiquette, and attentiveness are top on my priority list. Nothing frustrates me more than to see a Dominant with a pretty little show piece near by talking to his or her friends while an empty drink glass sits waiting to be refilled, or watching a Dominant have to run around and search for a submissive/slave because he or she has wandered off. No matter what gender, race, age, ethnicity, education, or appearance, if a submissive/slave does not have the basics of protocol and behavior down pat then nothing else matters.

Most submissives/slaves learn basic manners and etiquette from their mother, although it appears that not all mothers were as particular as my mother was on this issue. My mother used to say "Manners are cheap it’s a shame more people don’t have them" and "You don’t have to be well educated to know what good manners are." My mother, God rest her soul, used to pound manners and proper etiquette into myself and my sisters every chance she had, she believed that manners not money that made the difference between "white trash" and a millionaire. In her way of thinking you could be wearing a $3,000.00 custom made Italian suit and be "white trash" if you had bad manners. Why am I explaining the diligence of my mother in an article about BDSM? Simple the way a submissive behaves directly corresponds to the value of the individual in my honest opinion. Not only does it corresponds to their value but it also directly reflects on the Dominant as well. In my opinion a rude or ill-mannered submissive/slave is a definite sign of a poor Dominant. Like wise a well-mannered, obedient submissive/slave is a sign of a loving, attentive Dominant.

I have written down a few tips that I think are a good start to understanding good manners, and proper etiquette.

• Upon first meeting a new individual ask what title they would prefer to be addressed by (Master, Mistress, Sir, Ma’am, Goddess, etc.), do not assume that you have the right to address someone in a familiar manner or to use that individual’s title until you have earned that right.
• Do not rush up to someone and initiate contact, politely stand and wait to be acknowledged.
• Do not run about, dashing from here to there, unless you have been instructed to do so. Walk slowly and with precision. Stand straight with your shoulders back and your head straight, walk with pride and dignity, there is no excuse for poor posture.
• Do not be mousy, discreetly lowering your eyes is acceptable but do not appear timid or frightened.
• Do not hang on or crowd a Dominant, there is such a thing as smothering someone even in this lifestyle.
• Walk or stand slightly behind and to the side of the Dominant, if you are unsure of which side, ask.
• Do not wander off, if you need to excuse yourself, ask permission to leave and then return as quickly as possible, do not assume that you have permission to go somewhere other than the original request or that you have blanket permission to wander about.
• Be attentive, be ready when your Dominant needs you.
• Be discreet, when your Dominant is in the middle of a conversation and you wish to ask a question do not interrupt, simply stand waiting until you are acknowledged and then proceed. If it is important simply place your hand on the Dominant’s arm or shoulder and whisper in his or her ear. If it is an emergency, it is justified to interrupt, but remember to apologize for doing so.
• If there is someone you wish to talk to, ask permission from your Dominant first. If the individual is a Dominant you are then expected to ask his or her permission to speak with them. If the individual is an owned submissive/slave you are expected to ask their Dominant permission before you speak with them. If the individual is not owned, simply ask them if you may speak.
• Keep an eye on your Dominant’s glass, make sure that it does not go empty or if it does that it does not stay that way long.
• If your Dominant smokes, keep a lighter or matches available so that you may light his or her cigarette when need be, also make sure to supply him or her with an ashtray and discreetly empty it on occasion.
• When asked a question the correct response would be "Yes, Sir" or "Yes, Ma’am", or "No, Sir" or "No, Ma’am". Even with another submissive/slave you should show respect. If the individual is a close friend or you are on familiar terms a less formal way of answering may be acceptable, but by no means say "Yup" or "Nah".
• Do not pick at your clothes or fidget, it can be very distracting.
• Do not use profanity, there are far to many eloquent words out there that will confuse the dickens out of the well deserving idiot.
• Keep your voice low, shouting across a room is unacceptable, unless it is an emergency.
• Open the door for the Dominant, male or female, and then politely wait until he or she is through to proceed.
• When given permission to leave the Dominant’s side do not bolt off, it gives the impression you can’t wait to get away from him or her.
• Never stare at another individual.
• Offer to carry your Dominant’s coat or bags, or any cumbersome items.
• Keep an eye on your Dominant at all times, even if you are not by his or her side it is wise to glance over frequently to see if your services are needed.
• No not apologize for your Dominant’s behavior unless given instructions to do so.
• Do not talk about your Dominant with anyone else unless you have been given permission.
• If someone is rude to you, you are under no obligation to be polite to them, also tell your Dominant about the behavior, he or she may wish to educate the individual on the proper manner in which you should be addressed.
• If someone that you are not associated with attempts to order you to do something, politely state that you belong to another, or that you did not consent to serving them.
• If you are given instructions and there is a question, ask.
• If you have been given an order, do your best to comply immediately, or apologize and explain any possible delay.
• Ask permission before you take a seat and do not assume that you may sit on the furniture unless you have discussed so prior. Some Dominants expect their submissive/slave to stand or kneel nearby.
• Always remember to say "Thank You" for any privilege granted.
• Do not pout! If you ask permission for something and are denied, accept it, do not pout or ask questions.
• Do not flirt or show undo interest in someone else, it does not show your best side to act shallow.
• Do not correct your Dominant in public, if you wish to correct him or her do it privately and with respect.
• Do not argue with your Dominant in public, if you feel the need to say something, then request a discrete separation to talk to him or her, but again remember to show respect.
• Do not raise your voice or question your Dominant.
• Do not whine, it is a good way to loose the option to speak for the night.
• Do not be overly affectionate in public, instead follow your Dominant’s lead. Allow the Dominant to set the mood and decide to what degree the behavior should be.
• Never constantly look at your watch, it says that you would rather be somewhere else, other than at your Dominant’s side. If you have been instructed to keep an eye on time to be able to make an appointment then do so discreetly, do not be obvious.
• Always have a pen and paper available in case your Dominant may need it.
• If going to a place that serves alcohol, never drink to excess, you must be able to tend to your Dominant at all times. Also never allow your Dominant to drink and drive or attempt to do so yourself.
• If you cough, sneeze or yawn, say "Excuse me," or "Pardon me."

At all times remember that you are representing your Dominant. If you are unsure of how to behave, just think of how your Dominant would behave and later ask for clarification.

As always this article is just my opinion and should be taken as such. Some of these items may not apply to you or may not be the way that you and your partner behave, take the parts of this article that are helpful and use them then discard the rest. If you have any questions, or would like to contact me, my email address is Norisch1@mchsi.com.

Norische