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THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA

You've heard pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, Reverend D. James Kennedy, and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it.

Well, someone managed to sneak into top secret Homosexual Headquarters, somewhere in San Francisco, and get a copy... Here it is: The Homosexual Agenda!

6 a.m. Gym
8 a.m. Breakfast (oatmeal and yogurt)
9 a.m. Hair appointment
10 a.m. Shopping (Macy's or Nordstrom)
12 p.m. Brunch
2 p.m.
  1. Assume complete control of governments and related agencies
  2. Destroy all heterosexual marriages
  3. Replace school counselors with militant homosexuals to recruit for the homosexual lifestyle
  4. Infiltrate various religious factions to convert them to paganism
  5. Seize control of Internet and all other media
  6. Be utterly fabulous!
3 p.m. Beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from the stress of world conquest, followed by aromatherapy
4 p.m. Cocktails
5 p.m. Light dinner (soup, salad with arugula & balsamic vinegar dressing, Chardonnay)
8 p.m. Theater
10 p.m. Cocktails in a charming neighborhood bistro
12 a.m. Bed (du jour)