What are Munches?

http://www.sexuality.org/l/subnet/AboutBDSM5.html (Site no longer up)

A Munch is a social gathering of BDSM-friendly group of folks for coffee, lunch, or dinner. Munches are usually held in restaurants and announced publicly. They are usually oriented toward creating an environment where newcomers will feel welcome and comfortable. Dress is typically casual street clothes, and Munch organizers are usually very sensitive to the concerns of many newcomers about identification and safety. For many folks, a Munch is the first face-to-face contact they ever have with the larger BDSM Community.

The first Munch was called the Burgermunch and was organized by STella in California outside of San Francisco. It was an immediate success and has spawned many successful offshoots located all around the country. Many cities and towns all over the country and in Europe have Munches, either at periodic intervals or whenever the mood strikes.

The Groups page at this site lists many local Munches, including meeting places, times, and contact information where available. Also, Munch announcements are regularly posted on the Internet newsgroup ssbb (soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm). Munch announcements were traditionally posted to the Internet newsgroup asb (alt.sex.bondage); some are still posted there.

If there is no Munch group in your area, consider starting one yourself!

What is a Play Party?
Play Parties are parties where play is allowed. Most play parties are private events held in people's homes, but some are large events held at hotels or clubs. (Some events with open play parties are listed in the calendar on the Events page.) Play parties tend to provide cleaner environments than public BDSM clubs and, because the guests are usually invitation-only, fewer clueless gawkers.

Play parties can be wonderful ways to meet other folks who do BDSM, learn about safety and technique (many experienced players are flattered to be asked how to flog or how to do rope bondage), get creative ideas for your own play, and, if you enjoy it, play with your partner in front of others. Playing in public at a party can also be a relatively safe way to play with a completely new partner. On the other hand, playing in front of others does tend to deter many people from doing extremely intimate or intense scenes.

Play parties are not usually pick-up parties. (See the contrasting material on Swingers for more on negotiation when playing with newly met folks.) This is not to say that you will not meet someone at a play party with whom you might end up playing eventually, but just that coming on to everyone you meet is not the goal of the party and very likely will get you kicked out. Although people at play parties do sometimes play with people they have only first met that evening, the majority of play is between partners who have known each other a long time and negotiated carefully and fully. Playing with someone you only first met that evening does happen, but it is much less common than at Swinger events, and is, at most events, preceded by lots of prior discussion and negotiation.

Play parties also are commonly alcohol-free. If you are going to bring something for the hosts, make it fresh fruit or brownies, not beer or wine. A few well-known customs of play parties include the standard "No touching" rule (that is, it is unacceptable to touch someone without asking, not even someone's arm in conversation), not ever treating anyone

MORE INFO:
Play Party Etiquette
New you meet who you are sure is a submissive as if the person is your submissive, never touching anyone else's toys without asking permission, and being respectful of the space where other people are playing. Sometimes the scenes at play parties can be quite intense. If you are at a play party and you see a scene that disturbs you, the custom is to leave the room quietly. (A common arrangement for play parties is for the party to have a Social Room where no play is allowed, in part for such eventualities.) If you believe a scene is nonconsensual, the custom is to ask the host or a designated Dungeon Master (DM) about the scene. It is inappropriate to intervene directly in a scene unless there is an outright emergency (for example, if a frame collapsed on the players). If you and your partner are considering doing a scene that might look unsafe or nonconsensual, it is a good idea to get permission from the hosts or DMs first, and to have spotters lest an onlooker starts to worry enough to intervene.

Play parties tend to afford greater opportunities to play intensely than public clubs because they are typically attended by people who know each other well enough to have a sense of the way they each play. On the other hand, just because someone is at a play party does not necessarily mean the hosts can guarantee that that individual is a safe enough player for you personally. Negotiation and checking references for people are still important.